


Bittersweet Memories

by SianHTTYDfan



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-10-10 08:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 42,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17422673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SianHTTYDfan/pseuds/SianHTTYDfan
Summary: Hiccup has retrograde amnesia. Retrograde amnesia is the inability to access memories of previous events before the injury and can include self-identity loss. It is possible to recover but a dense period immediately preceding the trauma usually persists. How will Astrid cope? Set 6 months after HTTYD2.





	1. Chapter one

Chaos reigned in the Great Hall as Astrid entered through the large entrance doors.

"This is a disgrace!" she heard one lady say.

"Absolutely!" was the reply. "Imagine not even turning up. This naming ceremony was booked two months ago by my nephew and I know he spoke to the chief only yesterday about it, making the final arrangements. Now he doesn't even show!"

Astrid walked up the centre aisle past all the grumbling people and turned to stand on the dais facing the crowd.

"May I please have your attention!" she bellowed. The room was immediately silent. "On behalf of the Chief of Berk, I apologise for the delay."

"Outrage!" someone called out.

"A complete dishonour to our family!" chimed another.

"Please!" Astrid continued. "We are not certain why the chief has not yet arrived but please bear with us and we will continue with the ceremony shortly. In the meantime may I ask kindly that you all remain seated and enjoy some light entertainment provided by the Thorston twins Ruffnut and Tuffnut?"

"Now ladies and gentle-Vikings!" announced Tuffnut, stepping forward. "My sister and I would like to recite to you a selection of poems we have concocted. Our first piece is named "A Young Viking":

"There was a young Viking from Berk,"Who was a big, ugly jerk!"

There was a great amount of grumbling and sneering as she left the hall. Astrid kept her head high and once the doors were closed tight behind her she breathed a big sigh of relief. She turned, walked towards Hiccup's hut and rapped on the door. Valka answered.

"Hello Astrid. What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen Hiccup? He hasn't turned up at the naming ceremony this morning and the Trout family are pretty narked off."

"No dear. I didn't hear him come home last night and his bed hasn't been slept in."

"Oh no. Not again. Thank you, Valka, I think I know where to find him now."

"No problem."

Astrid ran down the steps and back across the grounds towards the old blacksmith shop which was now the one-stop dragon service centre. As she entered she saw a large bulk of a man with his head stuffed inside a dragon's mouth. "Hello Gobber. You haven't seen Hiccup today have you?"

"Oh, hi lass. No. I haven't seen him all morning. There ya go mate," he said to the dragon decanting an over-sized damaged tooth into a bowl. "Good as new." Gobber wiped his hands with a cloth. "When you do happen to see him could you tell him I still need that spoon drill he promised me. I only need to borrow it quickly and I've been asking him for it for a week now."

"I'll remind him."

A big, black creature with large wings and an even larger grin came bounding up to Astrid, nearly knocking her over.

"Hello Toothless. Sorry, I can't fly you just yet, I'm looking for Hiccup. Do you know where he is, boy?" She followed Toothless through the inner door of the building into Hiccup's private workstation area.

He was sitting at his desk hunched right over fast asleep.

"Oh Hiccup," she sighed. She crept up to him and gently shook his shoulder. "Hiccup." He didn't stir. "Hiccup, wake up. I'm sorry but you need to wake up."

"Nnnnnnuh," he groaned but didn't wake.

Toothless came up to him and gave Hiccup a big wet lick over his face.

"Huh? Wha..? Oh, hi Toothless. Hi Astrid." He looked around him. "What? Where?"

"Hiccup, you fell asleep at your desk. Again. You look awful. How much sleep have you had?" He groaned and rubbed his face in an attempt to wake up. His face was covered in Toothless' drool. "Hiccup. It's the Trout family's first born child's naming ceremony. Now. They're waiting in the Great Hall and I've had to resort to letting the twins provide entertainment…"

"The naming…. Oh no!" Hiccup scrambled to his feet and started hunting for papers scattered all over his desk. "Right. I need my… and that… and that. Thanks Astrid! What would I do without you?"

"Gobber is also asking for that spoon-whatever you promised him and your mother's making dinner tonight. We need to make our final plans for our knot-tying ceremony. It's in three days. Please don't be late home tonight."

"I'll try. Sorry, I've got to go. Love you!" Hiccup gave her a quick peck on the cheek and dashed out towards the Great Hall.

"Oh Toothless. What are we going to do with him?" Toothless brushed against her legs and purred. "Come on boy. We'll go flying now. You and me."

All day Hiccup raced from one thing to another. Spitelout Jorgenson wanted his new store house plans approved; the twins were creating havoc in the fields with Snotlout; he was late for a meeting with Heather and Fishlegs to arrange their own knot-tying ceremony date and Bucket was having problems with his bucket – Mulch was convinced a storm was approaching. He didn't stop for lunch and once he had dealt with everyone he went back to his workshop to get on with all his paperwork.

The whole day had passed and it was getting dark. A few people mulled around the grounds but most were inside eating their evening meals. Astrid walked back towards the service centre again with a frustrated expression on her face.

"Hiccup?"

"I'm in here," he called back.

"Your dinner's on the table. It's getting cold. You need to eat and we were going to discuss final arrangements for the knot-tying, remember?"

"I'm sorry, Astrid. I just can't tonight. I have too much I need to do."

"I'm sure it can wait."

"I've got seven saddles to make, Basher's coming of age speech to write, a plan for the new store house to finalise, three sick dragons, four missing sheep…"

"Hiccup! Stop!" She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can't do all of this on your own in one night, you're burning yourself into the ground. Please. You need to rest. You haven't eaten properly all day and you need your family. The village will be fine for a few hours."

"But I just need to…"

"Hiccup!" She gripped his arm tight. "That's it. You're coming with me. You need to eat." She yanked his arm in an attempt to drag him out but he resisted and released it from her grip.

"Astrid, I'm sorry, I don't have time for dinner. If I want to run the village half as well as my… as well as my… father… then…"

"Hiccup?"

He spoke in a quiet, monotone voice not looking at her. It was like he was talking to himself. "You didn't see him like I did. Most nights he wouldn't sleep. When things went wrong he wouldn't come home for days. How can I hope to run the village nearly as well if I don't work as hard?"

"You're not your dad, Hiccup and I'm worried about you."

"I'll be fine. You go and have your dinner. I'll see you later." He said, forcing a smile, then sat back down to continue his work. Defeated, Astrid sighed, turned and walked out of the room.

"Is he coming?" Valka asked Astrid as she entered the hut.

"No. He says he's too busy." Together they began to clear away the dishes. "Valka, I'm worried about him. He doesn't look right. His face is grey and there are bags under his eyes. He's exhausted but he won't stop. He said his dad worked as hard to be chief and he wants to do the same."

"Stoick? He hasn't spoken of his father to me for months."

"He's really beginning to worry me. I can tell he's still struggling with the loss of his dad but doesn't talk about him much. And when he does, he gets this distant look and I can't reach him. He hasn't talked about his death since it happened."

There was a knock at the door.

"Hi Valka." It was Gobber. "Astrid. Just returning the spoon drill. Is Hiccup here?"

"No. He hasn't come home. He's still at his workshop."

"Still? At this time of night?"

"He says he's too busy for dinner. He even mentioned that his dad often worked late too. Is that true? You and his dad were good friends."

"Tha' he did. Hmmm. I think I see wha's happening here. Lass, would you think it helpful if I have a chat with him for ya? I can sometimes get him to talk."

"If you think you can, that would be great. Thanks Gobber."

"No problem. Night Valka."

"Night Gobber, and thank you."

"Hey lad. Come to hand ya back this." Gobber squeezed through the door frame and placed the spoon drill down on the desk next to Hiccup.

"Thanks Gobber," Hiccup replied, not turning round and continuing to write.

"I went to your house to return it to ya. They said I'd find you here."

"Uh-huh."

"Do you mind if I sit down?" Gobber found a rickety old seat and plonked himself down facing Hiccup. Distracted, Hiccup paused what he was doing and looked up at the bulk of the man that was Gobber.

"Is there something else you want, Gobber? I'm a bit busy right now."

"We don't chat much you and me anymore. Thought it would be nice to catch up a bit."

"I'm sorry Gobber but I have too much to do."

"Yes. That's what Astrid said and that's what I want to talk to you about."

"She talked to you?"

"Yes, of course she did. We all know you want to be a good chief Hiccup, but you can't keep pushing yourself like this, you're going to burn yourself out and that won't be good for anybody."

"But I need to. I've got so much to do."

"Hiccup. There's something I need to tell ya. Something about your dad." Hiccup froze. "You ought to know your dad didn't work as hard as he did because that's what it took to be chief. It was because he felt no one else could help him. He felt alone after your mother left and buried himself in his work. I remember him being just as bloody-minded as you are right now. Not eating. Not sleeping." Hiccup looked up at Gobber stunned. He hadn't expected this. Gobber continued. "Look. I know I can't make you do anything, lad. If you say you've got to work then you've got to work. But if ya ask me I think Astrid's right. You look terrible and you need to rest. Just promise me you won't push yourself too hard and ask for help when ya need it."

Hiccup didn't answer. He just sat there frozen.

When Gobber realised he wasn't going to get a response he said, "Well, I've said my bit. I'll be off then. You make sure you take care of yourself. See ya later, lad."

After he left, Hiccup stared blankly for a long moment before remembering that he was in the middle of something. He looked back over Basher's coming-of-age speech he had been trying to write but he could no longer make sense of anything on the page. He rubbed his face hard in an attempt to focus but all the words just went fuzzy and he realised quite how tired and hungry he really was.

"Arrrgh! I'll just have to carry on first thing tomorrow." He arranged his paperwork into relevant piles on his desk and left the room, swaying as he went.

"Hiccup! You're back. I'll go get you your dinner." Astrid went to fetch it as he shuffled his way to the table and lowered himself down.

Toothless came bounding up to him for a stroke. He hadn't seen much of his rider all day.

"Hey bud. How are you doing?"

"Arrooo!"

"Astrid. I've been thinking about what you said and you were right: I'll never be as great as my… father. But I still want to try. I'm sorry I was a bit short with you." He began to hack at his now cold and very tough meal. Astrid sat down next to him.

"Hiccup, that's not what I said at all. I said you weren't your dad. That doesn't mean you won't be great. You're Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. The man who brought Viking and dragon together. You've already achieved great things. You'll do fine." She placed a hand gently on him. "You just need to let yourself rest sometimes. You've been pushing yourself too hard lately and you look drained." Hiccup chewed silently, not looking up. "Your mum and I have been talking and we both think you could do with a vacation. We can postpone the knot-tying for a couple of weeks…"

"No! Astrid, no. We don't need to do that."

"Yes. I think we do. I insist. You need a break and your mum and I can run the village together until you get back. We'll speak to Gothi first thing tomorrow and arrange things properly…"

"Astrid…"

"Hiccup. Please. For me. I need a husband who's not burnt out every day."

"I'm fine!"

"No, you're not. It looked like you were about to pass out when you came in just now. You don't eat. You hardly sleep. You're trying to do too much and you're missing important deadlines…"

"But…"

"Hiccup! I'm not asking anymore. I'm telling. You're going on a vacation whether you like it or not. And when you get back, all rested, I expect to get knot-tied to the loving, caring, sensitive Viking I fell in love with."

Hiccup knew when he was beaten. Astrid was as stubborn as Vikings came and once she'd made up her mind there really was no swaying her. He knew the consequences of putting his own foot down with her all too well.

"Okay," he sighed half-heartedly. "But just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"That you look after my mum. I think she's still struggling to settle back into life at Berk and asking her to be co-acting chief may be a bit much for her."

"Sure I will. You don't need to worry about a thing." They gazed fondly at each other then, slowly, they moved in for an affectionate kiss and hug.

As they held each other Hiccup felt he could no longer hold back and let out a great heavy yawn.

"Right, that's it. Off to bed with you. Now," bossed Astrid.

Hiccup smiled weakly at her and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Goodnight, M'lady."

"Night babe." And with that he finally climbed the stairs to bed.

A while later Hiccup was lying in bed fast asleep. Astrid had gone home and Valka was getting ready for bed herself. She crept into Hiccup's room to check on him. She saw him lying there sprawled across the bed with the sheets dangling over the side. Toothless looked up and watched her.

"Oh darling." She quietly approached the bed and attempted to adjust his position. Then she pulled the bed sheets back over him, tucking him in. "Night love," she whispered. Finally, ever so gently, she placed a kiss on his cheek and left the room closing the door behind her.

Not long after, Hiccup began to stir.

"Nnnnnuh…"

Curious, Toothless approached him sniffing him.

"Arrrooo?"

"No…" Hiccup called out in his sleep. "No!" Becoming more aggravated, he slipped and fell out of bed. Toothless came over and patted him with his snout. Still asleep, Hiccup raised himself onto all fours calling out, "Dad!"

Toothless was unsure what to do but wishing to comfort Hiccup, he went up to him again giving him a gentle nudge.

"No! Get away from him! Go on! Get out of here!" Hiccup pushed him away yelling. Trying to move away from the monster in his dream, Hiccup slipped on his bad leg and fell backward, banging his head on the wall behind him. It woke him up, and seeing Toothless looking at him uncertain, he realised what must have happened. He curled himself up tightly, arms around his knees and gently rocked. Nervously, Toothless came up to check on him again.

"I did it again didn't I, bud? I'm so sorry, Toothless." Hiccup timidly put his palm out. Toothless, after sniffing it, accepted his apology and placed his snout inside Hiccup's hand. They hugged. The warmth of Toothless comforted Hiccup and as he was so tired he soon dozed back off to sleep still laying on his dragon.

Toothless carefully lowered him as best he could onto the floor of the room. He went over to the bed and grabbed the bed sheets in his mouth and threw them haphazardly over Hiccup. He then curled and settled down surrounding Hiccup to help keep him warm.

That's how Valka found them in the morning, still snuggled next to each other on the bedroom floor.

The next morning was a lovely sunny day. Hiccup was packing his belongings into the saddle bags on Toothless and Astrid, Valka and their dragons were there to wish him farewell.

"So, are you able to go through the speech tonight? It needs to be ready by tomorrow."

"Yes, Hiccup. I've got it," replied Astrid.

"And don't forget to see Sven as soon as you can. He's very protective of his sheep and gets very edgy when any go missing."

"We will."

"And…"

"Hiccup. We'll be fine. You've already gone through everything with us three times now and we know where to find everything. The question is, are you ready?"

"Err… I think so. I just need to check Toothless' tail fin." He hesitated. "But are you sure you'll be okay? I can hold off for a day or so if it'd help."

"That just sounds like you're trying to postpone the inevitable," Astrid said as she folded her arms and glared at him. "You're going, Hiccup."

He smiled weakly back at her. It had been worth a try.

"C'm'ere bud. Let me just check your fin. Toothless! Hold still." They all laughed as they watched Toothless bound about happily as Hiccup struggled to get hold of his tail fin.

"He's just so happy he's finally going flying with you. He's really missed you," laughed Valka.

"I know, bud. I've missed you too. But let me just check this first or we can't go. Toothless! Please!" Hiccup sat himself over the tail in an attempt to pin it down. He struggled but finally got everything in place. However, as he stood back up no one noticed Toothless' prosthetic tail get knocked against Hiccup's and a pin loosened ever so slightly.

"There. Ready." He looked back at Astrid. "I'm going to miss you." Astrid walked up, looked at him and thumped him on the arm. "Even when you do that." She gave him a big squeeze.

"Send a t. mail when you reach The Edge. Just so I know you got there okay."

"I will." They shared an affectionate kiss. Then, turning to his mum he said "Thank you," and hugged her. "And please, don't work too hard. Both of you."

"Coming from you, Hiccup, that's saying something. Now you take care of yourself you hear?" Hiccup smiled back at her.

Without being able to delay any longer, Hiccup climbed onto Toothless' saddle.

"Right bud. You ready?" Toothless grinned back at him and nodded. After one last glance at his mum and Astrid they took off. As they climbed the skies Hiccup cried out in release "Woohoo! Yeah!"

Astrid and Valka watched as he disappeared over the horizon.

"I hope he'll be alright," admitted Astrid.

"I'm sure he will," said Valka but with her own concerned look upon her face.

Hiccup and Toothless raced through the sky, the wind rushing passed them. Hiccup felt alive again. All of his exhaustion vanished as they practised their tricks, spins and mid-air somersaults. "This is the life hey, bud? I've really missed this."

"Prrrrrrr," Toothless said in reply.

They stopped half way on a sea stack to have lunch and a rest before continuing their way up north. It was a long journey to The Edge and it wasn't long until Hiccup began feeling tired again. Once again in the saddle he lay back on Toothless for a rest.

He didn't notice the sky darkening as they flew. Spots of rain began to splash onto his face and he sat up.

"The storm. The one Bucket and Mulch warned us about, I forgot. Come on, Toothless, we're nearly there. We can make it."

Hiccup leaned forward and flicked the switches controlling Toothless' tail fin to try to get him to go faster. Something dislodged and Hiccup looked back and saw something was wrong.

"Oh no!"

The rain quickly grew heavier. The sky turned black. Within moments it became impossible to see more than a few feet away. Hiccup tried to adjust the tail position and speed with his metal leg but it didn't respond. They couldn't slow down. A cliff sped into sight but they were going too fast to stop.

"WATCH OUT BUD!"

They tried to make a turn but it was too late. They both took a side knock but Hiccup's head took the brunt and bashed against the sharp edge of a rock. Struck unconscious, he let go of Toothless and dropped down to the sandy ground beneath.

Back at Berk Astrid and Valka were inside Hiccup's private workshop. Valka was going through the speech whilst Astrid rummaged through boxes in the corner of the room looking for Hiccup's ceremonial cape.

"Huh?"

"What is it?" asked Valka.

"It's Hiccup's flight helmet. He didn't take it with him." Astrid studied it for a while then added "I guess he doesn't really need it. He's flown many times with Toothless over the years without it." But why didn't that thought comfort her?

Suddenly there was wailing coming from outside.

"It's coming! It's coming! Where's the chief? We need to find the chief!" someone shouted.

"I'll go and see what that's about," said Valka.

It was Mulch and Bucket. "What is it Mulch?" she asked coming out from the dragon service centre.

"The storm!"

"Storm?"

"The one we told the chief about yesterday. It's nearly here!" Bucket wailed again.

Astrid appeared next to Valka and they both looked up at the sky. Sure enough the wind was picking up and the sky had turned a nasty shade of grey.

"EVERYONE INSIDE!" Yelled Astrid. "QUICKLY! INTO THE DRAGON STABLES! STORM COMING!"

"My Hiccup's out there," muttered Valka.

Astrid looked down at Hiccup's helmet she was holding.

"He knew it was coming. That's what Mulch just said. He knew and he still went."

Gales blew. Rain continued to lash down and in the distance there was the occasional bolt of lightning. On the island Toothless stirred. Gently, he rose onto his feet and shook himself awake. He looked around. Where was his rider? Where was Hiccup? It was difficult to see far ahead of himself. He decided to scan the area with his sonic radar and spotted a dark heap lying motionless on the sand to his left. He bounded over and sniffed it. Yes. The scent was right. It was Hiccup. He gave him a nudge. There was no response. "Arrrooo." Toothless tried again. Nothing. He whined and nudged Hiccup harder causing him to roll onto his back but Hiccup did not wake up. He just lay there. His eyes closed.

There was a dark patch on the sand where Hiccup's head had just lain. In the poor light it was difficult to tell what it was. Toothless sniffed it and recognised the scent. Blood. His rider was injured. Toothless became anxious. What should he do? He couldn't fly without a rider and the weather wasn't letting up. He took another look around himself and spotted a gap in the cliff. A cave. It would provide some shelter from the wind and rain.

As gently as he could Toothless lifted Hiccup up using his front paws and walked clumsily on his hind legs towards the cave. Red smudges of blood smeared against Toothless' chest as Hiccup's head lolled against it. They went inside and Toothless, with only paws to use, placed Hiccup as carefully as he could down on the floor. Hiccup flopped like a rag doll. Toothless looked at him with concern. He nudged him again but there was still no response. He whined anxiously for his rider and circled around him. There wasn't much else he could do now until the rain stopped. Reluctantly, he positioned himself at the cave's mouth to wait. Either for the storm to pass or Hiccup to wake. He would protect his rider. He would protect.


	2. Chapter Two

There was pain. An overwhelming pounding of pain. It threatened to engulf him. Why did it hurt so much? For a while he just lay there quietly letting himself adjust to the sensation and, eventually, when it was just about bearable, he slowly flickered his eyes open. He moved them, keeping his head still, to see about him. He was in a dim, gloomy space of some sort but there was a source of light coming from somewhere to his right.

Thor! Did it hurt! The throbbing was coming from his head. It beat like a drum. Over and over. He raised his left hand to find where the pain was located. Damp. Why was his head damp? He studied the area more closely. Ouch! That hurt! He moved his hand back into his line of vision. His fingers were stained with something. Something black. No, wait. Not quite black. More a dark…. red. It just looked black in the poor light. What did that mean? What was red? Blood. That's what it was. The back of his head was wet with blood. That couldn't be good.

Where was he? He seemed to be alone somewhere. He could tell he wasn't in any building, it was too damp, dirty and murky for anywhere half civilized. He studied the place and saw rocky walls and stalactites on the ceiling above. It must be a cave. Carefully, he turned his head about taking in the space.

He could neither see nor hear anyone. He was alone. No. He wasn't. There was something over there. Arrrgh! The light! The moon shining brightly through the cave hurt his eyes. He tried again, this time taking more care to allow his vision to adjust. He looked at the shape again. It was something big. Something big with wings and claws: a dragon.

A dragon! Panic set in. He was alone in a cave with a fire breathing dragon! And it was guarding the entrance. He was in trouble. The beast had probably captured him and taken him back to his lair for his next meal. Why couldn't he remember what happened?

The beast was asleep. He had to get out of there. Fast: no way of knowing when it may awaken. He warily rolled onto all fours. Oh, his head again! The whole room swam in and out of focus and he felt giddy.

Easy does it. Got to get out of here.

Carefully, reaching for the walls of the cave for support he raised himself upright. Nausea.

No. Don't be sick. Don't be sick. He thought to himself. Take it steady. You can do this. Slowly. Ever so slowly he crept past the sleeping dragon and out of the cave.

The moonlight was bright and the stars shone in the sky. It must be late, or very early. Good. The sand under his feet felt damp. Not so good. The darkness would help camouflage him but he would surely leave footprints behind in the sand. He looked more closely at his feet. He had only one; the other appeared to be prosthetic. Why? No time for that. He had to move on. Now. He looked around himself. A cliff going off left and right. A beach. A few rock formations. The sea. Which way? His head pounded again and a sense of wooziness threatened to overcome him once more. No. He had to focus. He had to get far away from the dragon and this was his only chance. He was in no fit state to battle it. Already holding onto one side of the cave entrance he chose right and, placing his hands along the cliff and any large rock formations, he stumbled as he walked. Feelings of nausea bubbled up with every step he took but, determined, he kept going making his way along the beach.

Up ahead he saw an opening in the rock face. There was a rocky stream through a narrow valley coming down from the land to the sea with grassy verges either side. When he got closer he saw what must be a wood at the top. It was a bit of a climb. Could he do it? His whole body rang out in pain and agony begging him not to. Oh how it hurt! He looked back over the beach where he'd been. The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon. If he stayed he would be caught. The dragon would find him. He had to try. There was no other choice.

Slowly and clumsily he began the ascent.

The sun created an array of dancing diamonds on a tranquil archipelago and the sky had turned a clear shade of blue with a few wispy clouds scattered here and there. Birds sang in the trees above and small woodland creatures scurried around looking for their morning meal.

Hiccup appeared over the ridge of the ravine in which he'd climbed. His face was white as a sheet, his vision blurred and his head felt like it was going to explode. It had taken him an hour to reach the top. His body screamed in agony and all he wanted to do now was to curl up somewhere and sleep. He found a nearby oak and slumped down in a heap against its trunk.

He rested. Eyes closed, chest heaving, he felt the threat of nausea fade away. He had been sick twice on the way up and he had slipped and fell frequently. It had taken every nerve in his body to refrain from passing out entirely, but he had made it and the dragon hadn't come for him. Yet. Should he go on?

As he pondered over this thought, he heard voices. They started off faint but were gradually growing louder. People were coming his way. At last: help. He must find them. His body screamed in protest and his head swam as he tried to find his feet again. His vision remained blurred and the nausea hit him as hard as ever. But, despite it all, he forced himself to stand.

One last push he promised himself. One more time then you can rest. They'll help you. You'll be safe. He pushed himself onwards towards the sound of the voices.

"You had one thing to do, Berthel – look after the loot. Now we have to find more spoils to sell if we want to be eating tonight."

"I'm sorry, Amos. I fell asleep. I couldn't help it."

"It was your turn to keep watch."

"I'm sorry. I…"

"Quiet: I hear something." They both stood still. They heard a twig snap. "Get ready," whispered Amos. He got out a dagger and Berthel held up his two hooked hands in preparation to fight. Someone appeared from behind a bush.

"Look who it is, Amos. Isn't that Hiccup?"

"And without his dragon."

Hiccup stumbled into view, fell onto a tree for support and slid down onto his knees. He looked up at them with a dazed expression on his face.

"Heeeeel muuuu," he managed to mutter.

"What did he say?" asked Berthel to Amos.

"Heeeeel muuuu. Daaaaagnnnn. Peeeeez heeeeel muuuu."

"He's lost it," said Amos. "He's off his rocker."

"What should we do, Amos?"

Amos looked at Hiccup. He took in his pale complexion, his head wound and the way he was holding himself. Then he spotted the dragon blade attached to Hiccup's right leg. People would pay a pretty penny for that.

"Our luck has changed, Berthel," he said with an evil smile. "We get that weapon of his and we won't need to loot again for a month. We'll live like kings."

Catching on, Berthel mirrored Amos' smirk and they made a lunge for Hiccup. They knocked him down to the ground with one blow and together they kicked and beat him. Hiccup simply couldn't take it and he fell unconscious. The brothers grabbed some rope out of a bag and tied Hiccup's hands together. They threw it over a low hanging tree branch and strung him up.

"There. He's not going anywhere now," jeered Amos and he grabbed the dragon blade and ripped the armour off for good measure.

"Hey, Amos. Are you sure we're going to get away with this? What if we get caught?"

"By who? He's all alone and without his dragon to protect him. How is anyone going to know it was us?"

"I guess," replied Berthel. They went off sniggering, pleased with their morning's work.

Toothless began to stir. Sleepily he licked his front paws, rubbed his face, shook his head and rolled over. He yawned, stretched out and tensed his claws, waking himself up. He slowly plodded over to check on Hiccup. He wasn't there.

His ears flicked up alert and he scanned the cavern. There was no sign of him. Toothless sniffed the spot where he'd left him and took in the scent. A couple of hours old. Where was he? He wandered out of the cavern to have a look around outside. Maybe Hiccup was there. No. No sign of him. Where was his rider?

Toothless began to worry. He sniffed around the sand to find his scent and turned right, bounding down the beach. He crossed the bottom of the ravine and noticed the scent had gone. Turning back to sniff around, he soon found it again. Hiccup must have gone up the pass. He leapt up the rocky stream and saw drops of blood dotted along one side of the stream and also what must be sick. The scent of it was Hiccup's. His rider was hurting.

Panic set in. Toothless raced up the ravine and was soon at the top. He took a second to sniff around again and be sure which way to go then sprinted forwards. And stopped. His eyes widened and ears went back in horror as he looked upon Hiccup. Bound to a tree, armour all gone. His face unnaturally pale and the left side of his head smeared in blood. Toothless went up and nudged him with his snout but Hiccup didn't stir. He whined, called to him and nudged him again but still Hiccup didn't rouse. Terrified now, Toothless did the only thing he could think of. He went back to the top of the cliff where there was a clearing and let out a distress call across the archipelago.

A boat sailed on the sea nearby manned by a man with long, red hair tied back, shaved on the sides. He was wearing a green shirt and trousers, black boots and layered armour. It was Throk, one of Berk's new allies from Caldera Cay, Defenders of the Wing Island. He was on his way back home and saw the sky light up in a ring of purplish blue. It took him only a moment to recognise it as Hiccup and Toothless' distress call and turned his ship towards the island.

As soon he stepped onto the beach a second distress call rang out from above the woods at the top of a cliff. Noticing the same pass in which Toothless had climbed only moments before he ran quickly towards it and began its ascent. Just as Toothless had done, he noted the now dried spots of blood as he climbed and knew that someone must be injured.

He'd barely reached the top when he was nearly knocked backwards by Toothless. "Whoa boy. Steady. What's happened? Where's Hiccup?" The dragon circled Throk and pushed him from behind anxiously. "Okay boy, I'm coming." Reassured that he was understood, Toothless ran ahead, leading the way to where Hiccup hung suspended.

When he saw Hiccup Throk gasped in shock, but reacting fast he reached for a small dagger from his side and cut the rope. Next, very carefully, he lowered Hiccup down onto the muddy grass, tore a piece of cloth from his own tunic and wrapped it tightly around Hiccup's head in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

"Hiccup. Can you hear me?" he said. But there was no answer. Toothless came up, nudged his rider and whined. Throk leaned down and placed his ear to Hiccup's chest. There was a heartbeat, and Throk sighed in relief. He was alive.

"Okay Toothless. We need to get him to Caldera Cay urgently. May I have the privilege of flying on your back?" Toothless turned and showed him his damaged, prosthetic tail and moaned. "You can't fly? I guess we're going by boat then." He gently picked up the lifeless Hiccup, cradling his head to limit movement. "Come on, boy," he called to Toothless and together they cautiously entered the ravine one last time and made their way back towards the boat.

It took another hour to sail to Caldera Cay. Toothless had stayed by Hiccup's side all the way while Throk glided the boat as swiftly as he could. When they finally arrived Throk once again supported Hiccup and called out to two men on duty at the dock.

"You! Get Queen Mala. Quickly! Tell her we need urgent healing assistance. And you! Send a terror mail to Berk. Their chief is wounded." With that Throk took Hiccup to their healing centre with Toothless keeping tight to his heel all the way.

Back on Berk, Astrid walked up to the table in The Great Hall where Heather sat waiting. Heather stood up to greet her best friend with an affectionate hug, then they both sat down to eat. Dinner had already arrived.

"I'm sorry I'm a bit late," apologised Astrid. "Today has been crazy. Since Snotlout and Ruffnut have kind of become an item, the twins have been getting him doing all sorts of stupid stuff and you can imagine who has to get them to clear up their mess afterwards. And that's on top of everything else I need to do around here. Even with Valka's help. I'm beginning to see why Hiccup was losing it with them."

"It's okay," Heather smiled at her. "I wasn't waiting long. It's just great to see you."

"You too. It's been too long. But now you're moving to Berk we'll be able to see each other all the time. I'm so happy for you and Fishlegs getting back together, but how does Dagur feel about you leaving Berserker Island?"

"He was upset at first. He really likes having a sister, but after a while he came round. He's turned out to be a great older brother. He just wants the best for me."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. You and Fishlegs were beginning to wear out our flock of terrible terrors again with all your letters to each other." Both girls burst out laughing.

Heather then continued. "After all the soul searching I've done, and looking for my father, I finally have a true sense of belonging. I know I will always have a place with Dagur but I feel my real home is with Fishlegs now. I haven't told you this yet because I wanted to say it in person: We've decided to get knot-tied here."

"Oh I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!"

"Thank you. We've already spoken to Hiccup about it to arrange dates and we really want him to perform the ceremony. It would mean so much to us both. And you so have to be my maid of honour."

"I'd love to."

"Anyway, enough about me. How about you? How are you coping with Hiccup gone? You were getting knot-tied yourselves only tomorrow."

"Oh, I'm fine. It was for the best. He was pushing himself far too hard and I was worried he was going to make himself ill."

"He didn't look right when we saw him. Is he okay?"

"He's not been himself ever since his dad died. Valka and I decided he needed a break, to have some time to himself for a while. We'll get knot-tied once he gets back."

"Astrid, what's wrong. There's something else, I can tell."

"Oh, it's nothing." Heather gave her a knowing look. "Well, it's just that yesterday, after he left, there was that storm. He was supposed to write as soon as he got to Dragon's Edge and I thought the t. mail would arrive early this morning, but it's now evening and I haven't heard anything."

"Astrid, he'll be alright. This is Hiccup we're talking about. He can look after himself. And besides, he was probably waiting for the storm to pass before sending it."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Astrid sighed, reassured somewhat by her friend.

At that moment Valka came into the hall holding a terror mail in her hand. "Astrid, there you are. This just arrived for you."

"Oh, at last," said Astrid standing to take the scroll. She stopped and just stared at it.

Heather came up behind her to see what Astrid was looking at. "That's not Berk's seal," she said. "That belongs to Queen Mala."

Astrid tore it open and read the scroll. She gasped in shock.

"Something's happened to Hiccup. He's on Caldera Cay and he's hurt. It says to come immediately."

Valka took the scroll back wanting to read it as well.

"I've got to go," Astrid said mostly to herself.

"I'm coming with you," insisted Valka. "He's my baby boy."

"We'll all go," added Heather. "All the dragon riders. You may need some help out there as we don't know what's happened to him."

"But what about Berk. Who's going to run it if we all go?"

"Gobber will have to step in. He used to fill in for Stoick didn't he?" asked Valka. Then taking charge, "Come on, it's already getting late and it's a long journey. We need to start getting ready." With that they left the Great Hall.

The riders flew late into the evening and everyone was getting tired. Snotlout let out a big yawn. "So, remind me again why we're travelling all the way to Queenie's place when it's already late?" he complained.

"Because Astrid got a terror mail from her saying Hiccup's in trouble and to come directly," replied Fishlegs. "We're going to have to travel nonstop."

"Astrid," cut in Heather. "Did the letter say anything to suggest what may have happened to him?"

"No. Nothing," said Astrid without looking over. "Just that he's hurt." Heather could see the anxiety within her friend and felt for her.

"So we're not having a pit stop? At all?" moaned Tuffnut. Astrid gave him the evil eye. Then Tuff had an idea. "Hey, sis. Let's have some entertainment. Get Snotlout to do that thing again." They gave each other a knowing smirk.

"Hey, Snotsypoo!" chimed Ruffnut.

"Do you have to call me that in front of everyone?" Snotlout droned.

"Snotty, please. I'm getting bored. Would you mind showing me your trick you did on Hookfang again? You know, the new one you did the other day?"

"What! Now? But it's dark and I won't be able to see what I'm doing?"

"Please," she begged, batting her eyelids at him and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, "for me?"

The other riders all rolled their eyes.

Snotlout gave a defeated grunt. He'd do anything for a kiss. He stood up between Hookfang's shoulder blades, arms out straight, back poised and raised himself onto his tiptoes. He looked like an over-sized gymnast. Then, after bracing himself, he attempted a back flip, missed Hookfang and plummeted headfirst towards the sea.

"Cool!" said Tuffnut. Then after a few seconds, "Err. Hey, shouldn't we say something to Hookfang?"

"Let me sleep on it," replied Ruffnut.

Realising what just happened Astrid shouted, "Hookfang! Get him!"

Hookfang looked behind himself and realised he was missing his rider. Panicking, he swooped down to retrieve him.

"Why did you invite these three to come with us?" asked Valka.

"They can be pretty annoying at times but they are part of our group," Fishlegs replied. "And they have proven to be quite useful at times."

Valka gave a disbelieving look but didn't say anything else.

Moments later Hookfang returned with a very wet, very blue Snotlout. They continued on their journey to Caldera Cay.

Onwards they flew and arrived at the Defenders of the Wing Island in the early hours of the night. Queen Mala was there to greet them.

"Welcome riders. Please, follow me."

"How is he, Mala?" asked Astrid. "What happened to him?"

"I'm afraid we are uncertain of the exact circumstances in which caused his injury. However, what we do know is that luckily Throk had been at sea at the time and was able to see Toothless' distress call coming from a nearby island. He located them and brought them back by boat with haste, though I am sorry to say that some of his belongings have been unaccounted for." They arrived at the healing centre and Queen Mala turned to face them.

"At this tender stage, may I ask that only Astrid and his mother enter his room?" The other riders gave each other disquieted looks but adhered. Addressing Astrid and Valka she said, "Please prepare yourselves as he is in a most unfortunate way."

She took them to a private side room. In the corner of the room was Toothless fast asleep and on a bed, with Throk watching over him, lay Hiccup. A blood-stained bandage wrapped around his head, bruises and cuts were scattered over his white face, his green tunic dirty and torn. Astrid took in a sharp breath and ran to his side.

"The riders have arrived. You are now relieved, Throk," proclaimed Queen Mala. "I thank you."

"Very good my queen," he replied as he bowed and left the room.

Valka joined Astrid at the other side of the bed and gazed upon Hiccup.

"We have done all we can for him," said Mala delicately. "The bleeding on the left side of his head is easing and we believe all other injuries are minor. They also appear to be a few hours younger than the one to the head. However, since Throk found him late this morning he has not yet woken. As time goes on we become more and more concerned how he may be when, or if, he will wake at all. I am so sorry. I will now give you both some time with him alone." Queen Mala turned to leave.

"This is all my fault," muttered Astrid. "I should never have let him go." Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Don't you do that to yourself," replied Valka sternly. "This is not your fault."

"But I should have gone with him. Or done something," she pined.

"Astrid. Stop. We must not think about what could have been. We must only think of whatever it takes to get him well again."

After a short while Heather knocked on the door and popped her head round.

"Astrid, may we have a word?" Astrid lent over Hiccup and placed a tender kiss on his right cheek before stepping out of the room.

Throk, Heather and all the other riders stood in the corridor.

"Miss Astrid," addressed Throk. "It is now too dark, but at first light may I have your permission to borrow your fellow riders to travel back to the island where he was found? I was unable to examine the circumstances in which he found himself before and I hope I may be able to uncover what happened and possibly locate any of his missing items."

"Yes, that would be fine, Throk. Thank you for all you've done for him," Astrid said in a quiet voice.

"How is he?" asked Fishlegs.

"Not good." Then she added, "I'm sorry guys, but I have to go back to him. I'll see you later." With that she went back into the room. The others exchanged looks, then left, deciding they all needed to get themselves some sleep before their early start in the morning.

Inside Astrid sat down on a chair next to the side of the bed and cradled Hiccup's hand in hers. Both she and Valka stayed by his side throughout the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Morning broke with clear skies, taking Throk and the riders towards the island. All night Astrid and Valka had waited, but Hiccup remained motionless and Astrid began to grow weary. She lay her head down against the bedsheets just close enough to touch Hiccup's chest with the crown of her head and continued to hold his hand with hers.

It was supposed to be their knot-tying day today. How could this have happened? How? She thought back through all the times

they had had together, all the moments that they shared. All those happy memories. Had flown together. Had hugged. Had kissed. "Life is too short. Stop wasting time. You two are perfect," Heather's voice rang in her head. Oh! If only! They would have had so much more.

Memories flashed through her mind. She thought of the time in the woods when she had once been temporarily blinded. He had been so gentle and supportive. She remembered him saying to her, "There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid. Always." How she wanted to go back to that moment! How she yearned for it to be true. She had not been able to see back then but she was able to recall the tender caress of his hand on hers. His soothing voice. The breath on her cheek as he'd moved in to kiss her. She closed her eyes tight, clinging onto that moment with everything she had, willing herself to make the memory real.

As she silently prayed, she didn't notice the small twitch of his finger inside her hand, nor the change of rhythm of his breathing until she heard Valka say, "Hiccup?" Astrid looked up sharply and saw his eyelids flicker ever so slightly. "Hiccup, can you hear me?" his mother said again.

Toothless appeared by the side of the bed and gave his rider a lick on the cheek. Suddenly, with eyes still closed, Hiccup gasped. Oh the relief!

"Hiccup!" cried Astrid and she threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. He winced at her grip and she reluctantly let go. She watched him try to stir but he was too groggy. His eyes continued to flicker but remained closed and he began to pant weakly, his bottom lip moving up and down slightly.

"Pass him the broth behind you please," asked Valka. "He's thirsty."

Astrid took it in one hand and then, placing another gently underneath Hiccup's head, she raised him up and positioned the tumbler against his lips. Keeping his eyes closed, he drank thirstily. Some liquid spilt over the sides of his mouth and Astrid pmoved the broth away to clean him up but he begged for more. It was a long, slow process but once his thirst was quenched, Astrid lowered his head back onto the pillow.

"How are you, Hiccup?" she asked but he didn't answer. His eyes opened a fraction, just for a moment, then his head lolled to one side and he fell back off to sleep. But he looked more content somehow and Astrid was sure a little colour had come back to his cheeks.

As planned, Throk and the riders set off as soon as day began to break and they arrived at the island just as the sun crested over the horizon.

"There," called out Throk who was seated behind Fishlegs on Meatlug. "That's the island." From a distance they could see a jagged edged cliff overhanging a sandy beach and the stream within the ravine winding its way down from the woods on its left.

"Ooh!" said Tuffnut in amazement. "Hey, sis. Sharp pointy rock up ahead. Fancy getting Snotlout to see how hard it is with his head?"

"No one will be doing anything of the sort," bossed Heather having overheard. "We're here to figure out what happened to Hiccup, find his things and that's it. No funny business."

"Don't you think she's beginning to sound a little too much like Astrid?" Tuffnut mumbled to Ruffnut.

"Uh huh."

"Take us down to the beach," requested Throk. "We'll commence our search from there." They swooped down and dismounted their dragons.

"So where do you suggest we begin, Throk?" asked Fishlegs petting Meatlug.

"Before we commence our search it is right to inform you of your chief's current state of health as this will aid us in our mission." They all turned to face him. "He has sustained a serious blow to the head rendering him unconscious. It appears that sometime later he was then beaten and robbed of his armour and left strung to a tree in the woods up there to perish. Our search today is to confirm this in as much detail, find those responsible, and locate any missing goods."

The riders listened astounded. Even the twins exchanged disturbed looks.

Throk continued. "I tell you this now, not to cause you distress, but so that we may be able to perform our search to the best of our abilities. You see those woods at the top of the cliff? Toothless' distress call came from up there and that is also where I found your Chief Hiccup. However, as I climbed the ravine from the beach I came across a trail of blood which suggested he must have begun down here somewhere. I suggest we split into two groups. Tuffnut, Ruffnut and Snotlout, you head left of the stream and Fishlegs, Heather and I will journey right. Search for anything that may suggest movement. And be vigilant. It has been nearly a day since I was last here and the tide may have diminished some of our clues. We'll meet back here shortly."

Following Throk's instructions the group split. It wasn't long until Fishlegs spotted the cave.

"It may be possible they came in here to hide from the storm," he said.

They entered and spread out, and Heather soon cried out, "There's something on this rock over here. Come look."

Throk bent down next to her to examine the substance. "Dried blood. About two days old. That correlates with the day of the storm and confirms he was here. I believe we can now be certain the storm caused him to have some accident."

"Aren't we underneath the jagged cliff face?" questioned Fishlegs.

"It was a vicious storm," replied Heather. "Very difficult to see more than a few feet ahead of you." Without speaking a word, they had all come to the same conclusion what must have happened.

There was nothing else to find either within or without the cave so they returned to the stream to join the others. The twins and Snotlout had found nothing so they all made their way upstream into the woods.

"I found him here tied up to that tree branch and cut him lose," said Throk and bent down to examine the ground. "A disturbance in the mud here. You can see from these markings that there was a scuffle. And here, torn pieces of this tunic." He picked up a piece and passed it to the group to examine.

"And over here there are two sets of footprints in the dried mud heading in that direction," said Heather.

"We're done here," said Throk after a while. "Follow me," and following the footprints, he led the group to a small village with a selection of huts, a market place and a tavern at the top of the steep main street.

"Everyone, spread out again and we'll reconvene here," and they split into their designated groups.

They browsed the stalls. Tuff and Ruff kept finding bric-a-brac and strange looking items in which to find amusement. Snotlout ignored them taking his task more seriously.

The people behind their stalls jeered at the twins. "Stop you hooligans!" said one. "Either buy something or be on your way!"

"Touchy," complained Ruffnut. But as she turned away she saw Snotlout standing motionless staring at something.

"Hey. Isn't that Hiccup's dragon blade, Inferno?" she asked.

"And his armour," added Tuffnut.

Snotlout flung himself at the tradesman behind the stall and grabbed him tightly by his collar. "You! Tell us where you found that. Now!"

The tradesman crumbled in his grip. "I – I – I bought it off two men yesterday morning. P-p-please don't hurt me."

"And that armour?"

"Same."

"Who were they? Tell me!"

"I love it when he gets cranky," smiled Ruffnut to herself. "Just look at those muscles bulge."

"One called the other by the name of Berthel."

"And Amos the Lamos," Snotlout said catching on. "Arrrgh! I hate that guy!" He took a moment to cringe and then added "where did they go?"

"T-t-to the t-t-tavern," replied the tradesman and desperate to be rid of them he added for good measure "and they're probably still there. They talked about living like kings." With that, Snotlout released the tradesman.

"We'll take those," said Tuffnut, as he and Ruffnut grabbed all of Hiccup's belongings.

"Hey!" yelled the tradesman. "I bought all that fair and square! And it cost me a pretty penny too!"

"And it will cost you something much more valuable still if you don't shut it!" snapped Snotlout. "These are stolen goods!" The tradesman cowered behind his stall defeated and Snotlout and the twins walked over to the tavern.

As they entered they heard people raising their goblets in cheer, panpipes and lyres playing and in the middle of it all singing their hearts out were Amos and Berthel.

"More, give me more, give me more

"If I had a heart I could love you

"If I had a voice I would sing

"After the night when I wake up

"We will all live like kings!"

They were completely wasted. Snotlout had no patience and marched straight up to them. Though he and Hiccup may not always see eye to eye he was a good, loyal friend as well as his trusted chief and these two pieces of filth had hurt him. Hurt him bad. He grabbed them both by the scruff of their necks and threw them out into the street.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't tear you limb from limb right now!" he bellowed.

Across the street Heather, Fishlegs and Throk overheard and came running over. "You found Inferno! And the flight suit!" cried Fishlegs in amazement.

"And the two mutton heads responsible for it all," answered Tuffnut.

"This will never end 'cause I want more

"More, give me more

"Give me more…" continued the brothers in their lurid song, oblivious to their predicament. Snotlout moved in for a punch but Throk stopped him.

"They are not of a mind to be dealt with here," announced Throk. "We will return to Caldera Cay with them as our prisoners and question and punish them accordingly."

Snotlout begrudgingly stood back. Then, both he and Throk grabbed a brother and threw them over their shoulders. Ruffnut stroked Snotlout's arm admiring his strength and the group then mounted their dragons and took back to the skies.

It had turned into a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly on the archipelago sea and Caldera Cay was full of life. People bustled here and there, children laughed and played and tradesmen went about their business.

Inside the room the atmosphere was subdued. Astrid sat and waited. A few hours had passed since Hiccup last stirred and it was now midmorning. Stormfly was outside feeding and Valka was giving Cloudjumper his morning flight leaving Astrid and Toothless alone with Hiccup. She needed sleep but her concern for him meant she wouldn't settle.

It hurt to look at him lying there on the bed so still. The blood on his head dressing had turned a murky brown, the swelling on his face had calmed down but the bruises were turning an ugly shade of yellow. In an attempt to push her fear aside, she looked away and began to talk, pretending he was listening.

"Everything's going well on Berk. I managed to pull off Basher's speech okay. A few people asked after you but I told them you'd had to go on an errand somewhere and would be back in a few days." She sighed in the silence. Why wouldn't he wake up? "I saw Heather yesterday and she told me she and Fishlegs are now officially betrothed. But you already knew that of course. I am going to be her maid of honour isn't that something?"

She dared to look at him but he didn't move. Or at least she was probably seeing things. So she looked away again and continued.

"Throk has taken the riders to the island he found you to see if they can confirm what happened to you and to find your things. They went off early this morning, and your mum's out with Cloudjumper but should be back soon." She paused for a while to try to collect herself. "And it's our knot-tying ceremony today." She closed her eyes tight to stop her watery eyes from running. No. She wouldn't cry. But she couldn't go on either.

As she sat there hunched in her chair, she heard Toothless stretch and wander over to the other side of the bed to give Hiccup a sniff. Astrid looked up and watched. Toothless sniffed again and purred, then licked Hiccup's face. Slowly Hiccup blinked his eyes open.

"Hiccup! Oh Hiccup, thank goodness. How are you feeling?" She restrained herself from hugging him again but placed both her hands on his right arm eagerly leaning over him.

He turned his gaze over to look at her but didn't answer. He looked slightly dazed. Then, in the corner of his eye he spotted a big, black creature on the other side of his bed. He turned to look and saw two huge eyes and an even larger mouth with sharp teeth baring at him.

The dragon! It was here! Panic took over and clumsily he tried to scramble out of the bedsheets and sit up. He placed himself between the dragon and the girl behind him and, though his efforts were weak, he dared to push the dragon away from them. His head swam but he ignored it determined to protect her. The dragon miraculously whined and skulked into a corner of the room.

Astrid was stunned. What was going on?

"Hiccup. What's wrong? Why did you push Toothless away?" But Hiccup stayed where he was, too fearful to move. His arms were weak and shook from having to support his weight. Astrid was worried he might overdo it and make himself ill again so she tried to soothe him. She placed a hand gently on his shoulder and said "It's okay Hiccup. Please lie down," but he didn't budge. "Hiccup, it's Toothless," she said again. "Look, I'll show you."

She got up from behind him and walked towards where Toothless lay cowering. As Hiccup noticed her go he made a grab for her but missed and flopped forward. He repositioned himself and scuffled backwards to the top of the bed. Realising he could no longer help her, he froze in fear.

Astrid bent down next to the upset Toothless. "Hello, boy. There. It's okay," she said soothingly. Hiccup watched as she talked to the beast and gave his hide a stroke. "There, you see? Everything's okay," she said looking up at Hiccup. "Would you like to have a go?" she asked him.

Hiccup looked at Astrid unsure and then back to the dragon. He didn't move but his posture eased slightly. The dragon wasn't attacking her. What was going on?

"See, Hiccup. It's only Toothless. Your dragon." Why was Hiccup like this? "Come on, boy. Let's go say hello." She encouraged Toothless back over to the bed. She saw Hiccup tense again as they approached. "It's okay," she said. "Look. Everything's fine." She offered Toothless her open hand and he gave it a quick sniff then gently placed his snout inside her palm. "There. Good boy." She then looked up at Hiccup. "Why don't you have a go?"

Hiccup looked at her uncertainly and back to the dragon, but he didn't move.

"Why don't I help you?" She reached out and took hold of his left wrist. She tried to move his arm towards Toothless but halfway Hiccup resisted her grip. "It's okay," Astrid said again.

Hiccup looked at her. Finally reassured, he gingerly let her place his hand out to the dragon. Toothless looked up at Hiccup and then placed his snout inside his palm. Stunned, Hiccup exhaled and the side of his mouth twitched into a half smile. This was amazing. He had thought the beast a vile, vicious creature with only the desire to kill and destroy and here he was, his hand inches away from its mouth and it was… purring. Hiccup looked up at Astrid smiling in amazement but saw sadness in her eyes. Why was she upset?

Then all the adrenaline in his body that had built up suddenly wore off. He felt exhausted and his head became fuzzy.

"Oh no! Hiccup!" Astrid said, noticing the change in him. She placed her arms around his waist and carefully helped him lie back on his pillow. She watched him as he gradually collected himself. "Are you alright?" as asked apprehensively. But he didn't answer. Astrid passed him a drink of the broth from the side of the bed and he took it.

Feeling better again, Hiccup decided he wanted to sit up. As he awkwardly pushed himself up he felt something strange under the bedclothes. Pausing, he moved the bed sheets away revealing his prosthetic leg. He studied it with curiosity. Astrid watched him tentatively. Slowly he turned sideways and placed both feet on the floor.

"What are you doing?" asked Astrid.

Hiccup put his hands on either side of himself and attempted to raise himself up.

"Hiccup! No!" cried Astrid but it was too late. Hiccup's legs couldn't support him, his head span and he fainted. Both Toothless and Astrid raced to catch him. Hiccup landed on top of Toothless' snout while Astrid managed to grab an arm to stop him from hitting the floor. She pulled him towards her and held the unconscious Hiccup in her arms.

At that moment Valka came through the door and seeing them all in a heap on the floor ran over and said, "What happened?"

"He tried to get out of bed. Help me put him back." Together the two women eased Hiccup back onto the bed gently lowering his head down on the pillow.

"Why did he get out?" asked Valka.

"I don't know," Astrid replied. "He looked at his metal leg and for some reason thought it was a good idea to try and stand. Valka," she added. "He was frightened of Toothless. It was as if he didn't know him."

"Didn't know Toothless? Astrid, that's ridiculous."

"No. Really. He was terrified. You didn't see him. He tried to protect me from him and used himself as a human shield. Valka, what's happened to him?"

Valka didn't know what to say, but just then Hiccup began to stir.

"Hiccup, you're awake," said Valka relieved. "How are you, dear?" She caressed his hair lovingly. Hiccup looked up at her with the same dazed look from when he'd first woken but didn't reply. "Hiccup, darling. Can you hear me? Say something."

He opened his mouth to talk but no words came out. It hurt to try. The side of his head protested. Determined, he tried again. A sharp pain shot through his skull. He winced and closed his eyes tight. Oh, how it hurt!

On seeing his anguish, Valka decided to take another approach. She carefully took his hand that he had raised to the side of his head and said, "Okay. Never mind, dear. How about we start with 'yes' and 'no' questions? Do you think you can manage that?" Hiccup smiled weakly at her. "Yes. Great. That's a start." She thought of her first question. "Hiccup. Do you know where you are?"

Hiccup looked around the room taking it all in. He shook his head.

"Okay. You're at Caldera Cay, the Defenders of the Wing Island. They've been looking after you for us. You've had a nasty accident and have been asleep for some time. Do you remember what happened?"

Hiccup took his time to think. Then, when nothing came, he shook his head.

"Nothing? Nothing at all?" Behind her Astrid watched in horror as Hiccup shook his head for a third time. Then, thinking back to what Astrid had said Valka braved a daring question. "Hiccup. Do you know who I am?"

Hiccup looked at her then slowly shook his head.

"And…?" Valka timidly glanced at Astrid.

He looked Astrid up and down. Once again he shook his head. Both women stared at him, stunned. He knew something was wrong. He knew they expected him to recognise them but he didn't. He didn't know them. Why didn't he know them?

Breaking the awkward silence, there came a knock at the door and three people entered. It was Queen Mala and two of her specialist healers.

"I pardon the intrusion but I wish to announce that your riders and Throk have returned successful in their quest and would like a word with one of you. Also, I need to inform you that our healers require an examination and a changing of the head dressing. Do we have your permission to go ahead?"

"I'll go," said Astrid curtly, seizing the opportunity to get out of there.

"That would be fine. Thank you, Queen Mala," replied Valka a little more politely.

Astrid slammed the door shut behind her and leaned against it in shock.

He didn't know her.

Heather was in the corridor waiting and came up to her.

"Are you alright, Astrid? You look awful."

"I'm fine," she said,shaking herself out of the trance. "So, what did you find out?" She wanted to change the subject fast. Concerned for her friend, but knowing she wasn't going to get anything out of Astrid just yet, Heather reluctantly obliged.

"We're over by the jail pit," she said and led Astrid out of the healing centre over to where everyone else was waiting.

"What did you find out?" asked Astrid in monotone. She was sitting on the decking of a hut, arms resting on her knees, with everyone else standing around her. She sat in silence as Throk took charge to explain their theory. He talked about the cliff, the blood inside the cave, the trail of it up passed the stream and the attack in the woods. Astrid didn't once react which unnerved Heather. She had expected Astrid to be shocked in hearing their news.

When Throk reached the part in their story where the twins and Snotlout had located the dragon blade and flight suit, and had captured Amos and Berthel, she stood up and said quietly, "Take me to them," and tightly clasped her axe she had brought along with her. She followed the others to where they were being detained.

Inside the prison chamber, she saw Amos and Berthel slumped on the floor, still humming their song.

"Open it up," she ordered. Throk obliged and everyone else stood back. Astrid dropped inside and bent down next to Amos.

"Why?" she asked almost politely. Amos looked at her, still taken by the drink. "Why did you do it?"

"Hey, beautiful. Fancy a night on the town with me?"

Something snapped inside Astrid. She threw her hand around his neck and pinned him to the wall. "TELL ME WHY! WHY DID YOU HURT HIM?!"

Amos gagged. He couldn't breathe. Sobering up a little under the duress he looked at Astrid more closely. "Who?" he choked out.

"Don't play games with me! You and your brother over there hurt Hiccup! Tell me why!"

"Let me go. I'll talk," he said hoarsely and Astrid loosened her grip on him but kept dangerously close. Amos coughed and spluttered as he recovered with his back still against the wall.

"Tell me," she repeated.

"That dopey old fool. He just appeared out of nowhere. All alone. No dragon. Berthel and I. We was strapped for cash and there he was. All the loot on him you could ever want. Hey Berthel, am I right?" he called to his brother.

"Yeah," Berthel replied still slumped on the floor in the corner of the room. "Live like kings."

"Not right in the head he was. Mumbling. Making no sense. Talking mumbo jumbo. In a right old state," and with that he stopped. His face turned green, gagged, and threw up all over himself.

"So, you're telling me you attacked a vulnerable person who needed serious help, who couldn't defend themselves, just so you could rob them and get wasted?"

"A vulnerable lunatic," laughed Amos.

"Live like kings," said Berthel again. And the two began to snigger.

Astrid stood up. Her eyes murderous. She raised the axe high above Amos' head. She'd kill them. She'd kill them both. No one. No one would EVER hurt her Hiccup and get away with it!

"Kill! Kill! Kill!" chanted the twins behind her wanting a taste of blood.

"YAAAAH!" she yelled about to bring the axe down for a crashing blow.

"STOP!"

There was no more Amos. Astrid had lost him. Instead there was only Fishlegs and he whimpered, shaking with fear.

"FISHLEGS GET OUT OF MY WAY!" yelled Astrid.

"No! Astrid. You can't do this! Please!"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY! NOW!"

"Please don't, Astrid. It's not right. This isn't how justice works."

"They hurt him! They deserve to die!"

"Maybe. Or maybe not. But not like this. Astrid, this isn't what Hiccup would want. You know that. And please, move that axe away," he squealed.

That did it. Fishlegs was right. Hiccup… her Hiccup would never want her to lash out like this and kill in cold blood anger. Slowly, she lowered her arms, dropped the axe and let it crash to the floor of the pit. She collapsed onto her knees, wrapped her arms around her chest and heaved. Her Hiccup. The Hiccup she loved. The Hiccup that loved her. Where was he?

Heather jumped in and gave her betrothed a relieved squeeze and then, cautiously, approached Astrid, bending down to look at her.

"Astrid?" Astrid didn't move. "Astrid come on. Come with me," Heather said soothingly. She gently placed her arms around her and encouraged Astrid to stand and leave chamber.

"Astrid, what's the matter? Tell me," Heather begged once back on ground level. But Astrid didn't speak. It would just make it true.

They made their way back to the healing centre and Queen Mala met them in the corridor to greet them.

"Your chief is awake and recovering well. His head injury remains the most serious but the bleeding appears to have ceased. His mother says you're all welcome to visit him if you wish, but only briefly. Do not over strain him: he must rest."

They all entered the room. Astrid deliberately fell to the back of the group which bewildered Heather but she said nothing.

Hiccup was sitting in bed, propped up by pillows. He had a fresh bandage wrapped round his head, his dirty, ripped tunic had been replaced with a new, clean one and he had been given a proper wash. His face and arms were still covered in cuts and bruises but he looked overall much better. He turned his head on the pillows to see who was coming.

"Look, Hiccup, here are your friends," spoke Valka. "They've come to see you."

"How are you feeling, Hiccup?" asked Fishlegs. Hiccup smiled back politely.

"Hey, H," said Tuffnut. "Thor! They really did a number on you, didn't they? You look like dragon droppings." Heather elbowed him in the ribs to shut him up.

"Hiccup," Valka spoke again. "These are your friends. They've been worried for you. This here is Ruffnut. Then there's Snotlout, Tuffnut, Heather, Fishlegs and of course you've already met Astrid." Hiccup shyly raised his hand in greeting.

"How is he, Valka?" asked Fishlegs again, beginning to suspect something wasn't quite right.

"He's recovering well, dear, thank you. But he needs a lot of bed rest. The knock to the head has caused some injury and he…"

"He doesn't remember," interrupted Astrid croakily. Everyone turned to look at her. A single tear silently rolled down one cheek.

"Is Astrid crying?" asked Tuffnut.

Astrid looked at Hiccup and saw him looking back at her with curious concern. No. She couldn't take it. She couldn't stay here. Without saying another word she turned and left the room.

"Oh dear," sighed Valka. "Everyone, may I ask that you stay with Hiccup. Heather dear, you too if you please. He must not be left unattended. I shan't be long," and she left the room.

She found Astrid leaning against the corridor wall staring into space. Valka placed her hands on both of Astrid's shoulders.

"Astrid. Astrid, look at me." Astrid forced her gaze over to Valka, her whole body rigid and her eyes crystal with unfallen tears.

"Go and rest, child. You're exhausted."

"I can't," croaked Astrid.

"I know this must be hardest on you, but you have to remain strong. And to do that you need to look after yourself." Astrid just stared at her, unresponsive. "Can I make a suggestion? He's recovering well. I will stay here another day just to be sure, but then I'll go back to Berk and manage things with Gobber there. You stay here with him."

"But he told me not to let you do too much. That…"

"He fusses too much. I am quite capable of looking after myself, you know," Valka said sternly. Then, more gently, "Let me go. I'll be quite alright. You stay here and look after my boy for me. He needs you."

"But how can you be so sure? How can he need me? He doesn't even know me!"

"The ways of the heart are a mystery to us all, child. I know it is difficult to accept right now, but in the last six months I've been back at Berk I have seen the way he is when he's with you. Even in these tough times after his father's death I can see you're everything to him. Astrid, believe me, I know. Deep down, somewhere, my Hiccup still loves and cares for you. You need to stay with him and you'll both get through this." And with that, Valka pulled Astrid towards her and they embraced.

Astrid tossed and turned in the bed that had been provided for her. She just couldn't get comfortable enough to settle. Stormfly was in the corner of the room resting. She had been well cared for by the villagers whilst Astrid had been with Hiccup all this time. At least she hadn't needed to worry about her. The villagers at Caldera Cay worshipped dragons and even had a huge boulder class variety defending their island from the lava flow called The Great Protector. Dragons were cherished and they had looked after Stormfly well.

Astrid continued to struggle to sleep; she was just too wound up. The events of the last couple of days whirred round her mind in a barrage of mixed emotions – anger, hatred, fear, sorrow, despair – all jammed up inside her threatening to explode. She couldn't take it any longer. Beyond exhaustion but too fired up for sleep she decided to give up, grab her axe, and go to Caldera Cay's training grounds.

The grounds were set inside a wide clearing surrounded by the tall trees of the woods just outside the village. Scattered randomly within the large rectangle were high log posts used for climbing practice, stuffed mannequins, target rings amongst other things used for training. No one else was about so she had the place to herself. Just how she wanted it.

Astrid began by spinning her axe, warming up her wrists. She lunged forward stretching out her calf and thigh muscles, then straightened. She lunged again on the other leg and straightened. She struck left, twisting round to warm up her back and torso, then again right. She span twice round and lunged forward. This felt good, just what she needed – to switch off her mind and let her body take over. She was a warrior, the General of Berk's Dragon and Fleet Army and her training had been neglected of late. She needed this.

She began to build up speed. Side kick. Lunge. Turn. Lunge. Spin. Lunge. Run. Jump. Attack. Drop. Roll. Defend. Back up. Strike. Faster and faster she went. Drops of sweat touched her brow.

How dare they? She thought. They deserve to die after what they did! Kick. Step. Twist. Lunge. Doing that to him! Jump. Thrust. Turn. Kick. Hiccup, sick in bed because of them! Side kick. Lunge. Turn. Lunge. Spin. He can't remember me because of them! Lunge. Run. Jump. Attack. We're not getting knot-tied now because of them! Drop. Roll. Defend. Back up. Strike. It's not fair! Side kick. Lunge. Turn. Lunge. Spin. Lunge. This shouldn't have happened! Run. Jump. Attack. Drop. Roll. Defend. Back up. Strike. It's not fair!

Two axes clashed together. I'll kill them! Side step. Block. Counterattack. Clash! I'll make them pay! Strike. Clash. Strike. Clash. Duck. Block. It's their fault! Back step. Block. Spin. Counterattack. Clash. Their fault he's like this! Twist. Lunge. Jump. Block. It's NOT FAIR!

She was fighting someone else. She had hardly noticed Heather arrive. Together their axes collided over and over as the two girls danced across the grassy grounds. It felt better fighting with someone. There was resistance. Unpredictability. Conflict. Onwards they battled. Sweat poured down Astrid's face and back. Her arms ached and a tear escaped down one cheek. Step. Kick. Block. Thrust. Her chest heaved and another tear fell down the other side of the face. Strike. Clash. Strike. Clash. Duck. Block. Her vision blurred. She could no longer see well. Heather kicked her in the chest and she was knocked backwards onto the grass and an axe appeared inches from her throat. The dam broke. Tears fell freely down her cheeks and Astrid rolled sideways on the grass, brought her knees up and hugged her chest. And she wept.

Disregarding her axe, Heather bent down next to Astrid and gently eased her up. Both of them covered in sweat, grass stains and mud, Heather hugged her friend as Astrid clung tightly onto hers. All the pain, all the anguish, bubbled over the surface and washed over her in a sea of torment and grief.


	4. Chapter 4

Astrid slept soundly right through to the early hours of the following morning and it was still dark when she opened her eyes. For a brief moment she lay there relaxed and rested, but all too soon the memories of the previous day hit. Her heart ached with longing and she rolled onto her side, bringing her knees up to her chest.

She lay still like that for a long time. Two whole hours passed until Stormfly herself stirred in the corner of the room. Seeing her rider, she went up to Astrid and nuzzled her who responded and gave her dragon a stroke on the beak.

"Hello, girl. You want to go flying don't you?" It was probably a good idea. She needed some fresh air anyway. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

It was still very early. The sky was getting lighter but the sun hadn't yet risen and no one was about. The village people still tucked up in their beds. Astrid checked Stormfly's saddle, climbed onto her back and took to the sky.

The air was fresh on her face and Astrid inhaled the salty sea breeze deeply. Oh, how good it felt flying free, leaving all cares behind her! The waves below glistened in the rising sun and the sky was an array of many colours ranging from tangerine, subtle pinks through to mauve. Flying in and out of clouds it was a beautiful sight to be bestowed. This experience would never have been possible if Hiccup hadn't met Toothless all those years ago, defeated the Red Death and changed life for the better on Berk. She remembered the first time he had taken her flying on Toothless. It had been a magical experience then too…

Oh Hiccup! Even up here all alone with Stormfly she couldn't escape the anguish that engulfed her heart. It was like a bereavement yet he was still alive. At least he was. The thought of losing him entirely… No. She wouldn't go there. That way lay monsters.

Onwards she flew. Past island after island. Then, without intending to discover it, she saw in front of her an island with a steep, ragged cliff, a stream in a narrow valley to one side, a sandy beach at the bottom and woods on top. Could this be the place it all happened? She decided to investigate.

Flying down low, she spotted the cave within the cliff face. She dismounted Stormfly and went inside. It was all dark and gloomy and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust. Is this the place he had been? She looked around the cave floor and there, in the centre of the space, on a large, flat, smooth stone was the remains of what must be dried blood. She bent down to examine it further. Definitely. This fitted the description Throk had given. Hiccup must have been here on this island.

Now she was here she had a strong urge to see for herself what had happened. "Come on, girl," she called to Stormfly. She mounted her dragon again and, knowing to turn right, they flew out of the cave, along the beach, up the ravine and into the woods.

It didn't take her very long to spot the tree with the cut rope still attached. She stopped to gaze upon it taking it all in. Slowly she walked up to it, heart in her mouth, touched the rope and studied the way it had been cut. She then looked over the ground and saw the scuff marks in the now dry mud with ripped fragments of green tunic still submerged. She knelt down and picked a piece of the cloth up and stroked it between her fingertips. She closed her eyes to picture the scene. Oh, how he must have suffered! Already injured, climbing up all that way to reach the woods just to be assaulted up here and left to die. Her poor Hiccup.

She caressed the shredded, soiled material between her fingers and gave it a loving kiss, her eyes watering. Then, settling herself down against the trunk of the tree, still holding the fabric tightly within her palm, she wrapped her arms around her knees and silently wept.

She was gone all morning. She didn't want to return to Caldera Cay and face reality but Stormfly grew restless and she also didn't want a search party after her. So, eventually, she reluctantly mounted her dragon and journeyed back.

"There you are, Astrid," called Valka running up to her. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"How is he today, Valka?" she asked apprehensively.

"Much the same, but that's good really. No other concerns. He slept well last night. He's eating and his complexion is improving."

"Does he… has there been any changes to…?"

"To his memory? No dear, I'm afraid not." It had been a long shot anyway. "Come. Your friends are saying their farewells and soon I will need to leave too before it gets any later."

"You're still going?" asked Astrid anxiously, feeling ill at ease with the idea about being left behind with Hiccup.

"Yes. He shows good signs of recovery. For the sake of my son I will return to Berk and take his place as acting-chief. That is now my purpose until he recovers." Together, Valka and Astrid walked back to the healing centre.

Hiccup was sitting up in bed with pillows behind him for support. He looked startled. The twins were right by his bed bombarding him with questions.

"What about the time you had a bounty on your head?" asked Ruffnut.

"Or when Viggo put the submaripper in the straits and you had to free it?" said Tuffnut in turn.

"Stop it you two," said Fishlegs annoyed. "You know he doesn't remember anything."

"Hey, Tuff," Ruffnut ignored him. "Didn't great Aunt Gertrude lose her memory once?"

"Yeah. And Uncle Henrik bonked her over the head with a mace and cured her." Then he added "I think she died that day too." The twins exchanged wicked smirks.

"You two hooligans will do well in leaving my son alone!" bellowed Valka. Of all Hiccup's friends she disliked these two the most. She regarded them with as much interest as she would a dung beetle. The twins sneered at her but stepped away from the bed. "Now, if you please, we have a long journey ahead of us. Complete your farewells and be ready to leave."

The riders all took turns to say goodbye to Hiccup who politely nodded back in acknowledgement. Heather came up to Astrid and gave her a hug.

"I can stay here with you if you'd like me to. I can help."

"No," replied Astrid. "I need you back at Berk to train the new recruits. You will now be my Second-in-Command, if you choose to accept the position. And besides, I don't think Fishlegs would forgive me for taking you away from him quite so soon."

"Then write. I'm always here for you."

"Thank you."

After all the riders had left, Valka sat down on the bed next to Hiccup and took his hand.

"You get yourself better you hear? I don't want to find out you've been over exerting yourself," and she stroked his hair below his bandage lovingly. "Now, Astrid is going to stay with you and look after you for me. You be good for her." She bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye, son." Then, turning to Astrid and giving her a hug, "You take good care of my boy for me."

"I will."

Finally, Valka too left the room stopping only for a moment to look upon Hiccup one last time, and she was gone.

Astrid was now alone with Hiccup. Heart racing, she stood facing the door in which Valka had disappeared, then, nervously, turned and looked over at Hiccup. He was watching her. Well, this wasn't awkward. Slowly she made her way towards the bed and to perched herself on the edge of the chair.

"So… how are you feeling?" she asked with trepidation. Hiccup gave a small smile in response. "What has your mother told you so far?" she asked. Hiccup just looked at her uncertainly, not knowing how to answer. "Okay. Not the best question ever," she said looking away and brushing her fringe back. "I take it you still can't speak?" His face fell and he shook his head. "Right. Umm…" Astrid wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to the next question but she chose to brave it. "Umm… Did she happen to…? Has she told you anything about… me?" Hiccup shook his head. "Well, we were… umm… we were kind of together," she managed to say. She let out a shaky sigh, pursed her lips together and looked away. This was hard. She didn't know how to go on and Hiccup wasn't able to say anything in return which made it all that harder.

They sat there for some time in silence, both feeling scared and unsure. Then finally, for something to do, Astrid began to look around the room taking it in. It was a pretty basic, functional space. Besides the bed in the centre and Toothless asleep in the corner, there was the table with Hiccup's empty bowl of lunch broth, a second table on the other side with clean bandages and other medical items and a bookshelf on the wall opposite the bed with a small selection of books. Astrid got up to have a look. They were story and poetry books written for young Vikings. Probably there to help entertain families during visiting hours. She took one down from the shelf. "Boulard the Brave and other terrific tales. Written by Snorri Sturluson". This would do she thought. She went back to her seat, settled herself down and began to read.

It had been three whole days since he'd first woken and still he couldn't remember anything. He knew what things were. He knew what a bed was, but he couldn't recall the comfort of his own, nor the room where it belonged. He knew what friends and family were, but he couldn't bring to mind if he had brothers, sisters, aunts or uncles. He'd met someone who said she was his mother but he didn't recognise her, and who and where was his father? He knew people had pasts, had childhoods, and that they had experiences that helped form who they were, but he couldn't recall anything. His mind was a blank. A vast void of nothingness… and it terrified him.

He lay there in the bed with pillows supporting him, staring up at the ceiling and listening to her read. She had been reading to him for a couple of days now and he found her voice soothing. He was allowed to just lie there and rest. His body had ached all over when he had first woken. Even parts of him he didn't even know existed had hurt. His head had been the worst. But what was once a constant pounding pressure was now just a gentle twinge at the side of his head when he lay still and a pulsing every time he changed his position.

He looked over at the girl reading to him. The lady, who said was his mother, had told him the girl's name was Astrid. Out of all the visitors he'd had at the beginning she had seemed the most perturbed by his condition. Why had she been so much more upset than the others? Who was she? Why did she stay when the others left? Why was she reading to him now? Why would she care so much? She had said they had been together. What did she mean by that? All these questions and more whirred inside his mind but none of them could he answer. And he wasn't able to ask them either. His head had felt as if it would split in two last time he tried to talk, so he had decided not to try again for a while. That was when he had worn that dreaded bandage. They had taken it off this morning, thank Thor! It had itched like mad. He had been unable to resist a good scratch underneath every so often and Astrid and the healers had done their best to stop him, worried he'd damage scab forming on his head. But it was finally off.

He looked around the room again. Same four walls, same old dragon lying in the corner, same girl sat down and reading. Everything the same. It was maddening just lying there day after day. He knew he must rest if he was going to get better but he was bored. He let out a big sigh.

The girl stopped reading and put the book down on the table.

"Hiccup, are you okay?"

He turned his head and looked over at her. She waited in anticipation. He wanted to say something to her. He didn't know what. He didn't even care. He just wanted to feel he was able to express himself. To communicate. He wanted to be able to ask all his questions that whirred round his mind. Who was he? Where was he from? Anything, damn it! Anything to help spark some kind of recollection. Anything to help explain to himself who he was. By Thor, he was going to try. He opened his mouth to speak and the side of his head prickled in warning.

"Hiccup?" asked the girl tentatively.

"Nnnnnuhhh", he managed to get out. His head banged like a drum and he closed his eyes from the pain.

"Hiccup, are you okay? Do you need something?" Astrid asked with anxiety.

He'd done it. It had hurt like hell but he'd managed to get a sound out. The pain subsided and he opened his eyes again and saw concern looking back at him. He wanted to talk to her. To ask her all his burning questions. He was sure she could answer them. Frustration boiled inside him. This wasn't fair. Why was he like this? Why was he bed bound? Why couldn't he speak? Why couldn't he remember anything? Why?! Again, with all his might, he opened his mouth to speak.

"Nnnnnnnaaarrrrghhhh!" The girl disappeared and blackness surrounded him. He was in the void. Oh, the agony! His heart raced and his whole head pounded. It felt like it was on fire!

Somewhere in the distance he could hear someone calling. Calling his name. He knew it must be as so many people had called him it since he'd woken. He tried to follow the sound. Where was it coming from? Slowly, the pain subsided and the voice calling him grew louder. It was coming from in front of him and there was desperation in it. Realising he had his eyes closed, heavy though they were, he tried to open them.

The girl was leaning over and shaking him. Her face full of fear. The light in the room hurt his eyes so he closed them again. His heart was racing and his whole head pulsated. It had taken everything he had and more to get that excuse of a sound out. That had been it. He had given everything and that had been it. He creased his eyes tightly shut, thumped the bed sheets and silently screamed.

"Hiccup! Hiccup, look at me! Please look at me!"

He heard the terror in her voice. He didn't mean to cause her so much anguish. She'd been looking after him, being nothing but kind and sweet, and he didn't want to upset her. Whoever she was. He forced to blink his eyes open and looked up at her.

"Hiccup! Please. Are you alright? Hiccup!" He gave her a weak smile. "Oh, Hiccup!" she said lying down on his chest and giving him a hug. "Don't do that! You scared me half to death! Don't EVER do that again!"

Hiccup raised a hand and placed it cautiously on her shoulder. He was so sorry.

It made Astrid jump up. He had touched her. She saw the apology in his face.

"It's okay," she said trying to soothe him. "It's okay. I know this must be frustrating for you. Just hang in there. It'll be alright, I promise," but her expression remained sad.

He looked at her again, their faces inches apart. What was that he saw in her face? He'd seen it in his mother's too. Was it… was it love? Was that love he saw?

The girl must have realised she was staring at him because all of a sudden she stepped away and sat back in her seat all shy, brushing her hair away from her brow. What had just happened?

Not wanting awkwardness between them, he reached over to the table and tapped the book she'd left there, gesturing for her to continue. She looked back at him uncertain. Please! He tried to broadcast. The girl picked up the book.

"You want me to read?"

He smiled with relief; she'd understood. She smiled shyly back, settled herself down in her chair, brushed her fringe away from her forehead and picked up where she'd left off.

He watched her for a while sitting there next to him. She had been so concerned for him. Fearful. Terrified even. And there had been so much affection in that gaze. Who was she to him? Her voice soothed him once more and he lay back on his pillows looking up at the ceiling. He hoped she was right, that he would get out of here. He was making progress; slow, but progress nonetheless. He would get through this.

The next couple of days were much the same. Every day after flying Stormfly and Toothless Astrid would come and read to him and he would enjoy listening. He would practise making soft sounds under his breath but resisted trying too hard, not wanting to upset the girl again. He could also feel himself building in strength and eventually he was able to sit up for brief moments unaided without his head pounding.

But by the third day he grew restless again. He wanted to get out of there. He'd been stuck in bed for nearly a week and he was fed up. He looked around. The girl was reading. Again. The dragon was asleep in the corner. Again. Feeling a lot better he decided to sit himself up and leaned forward, placing his arms over his knees. His head didn't hurt; that was a good sign.

Astrid stopped reading. "Hiccup, is everything okay?"

He wanted to talk to her. Feeling okay, he decided he was going to try. "Aaaah…" It wasn't much but he'd done it. The side of his head prickled a little but he was able to speak!

"Hiccup, be careful. Don't push yourself again; you need to rest," Astrid said, fearful he would pass out again.

Ignoring her he tried again, but this time he softened his voice to almost a whisper in an attempt to stop his head from twinging. "Aaaah… ah… out," he managed.

"Hiccup!" said Astrid astounded. "You spoke!" He looked back at her. His confidence growing, he tried again.

"Ah… out," he said softly. The side of his head hurt a little but he was so pleased with himself he didn't care.

"Out? You want to go outside?" she asked, stunned. Hiccup smiled at her, pleased she'd understood. "No, Hiccup. You have to stay here. You have to rest."

Hiccup didn't like that. He wanted to leave this room. He needed to. Why did she say no? "Out," he said more strongly. His head prickled again but he ignored it.

"No, Hiccup. Please. You have to stay here. You have to get better."

Anger boiled inside him. How dare she say no? Who was she to him? She couldn't boss him around. He was the patient, he should know his own body. He should know what he was capable of, not her. He threw back the covers and placed his feet on the floor.

"Hiccup! No! Please don't," Astrid said getting out of her chair.

Hiccup pushed himself up. His legs felt like jelly and he wobbled, but, gritting his teeth, he managed to keep his balance. His head banged but he ignored it. He was standing unaided and nothing else mattered.

"Hiccup, please. Get back into bed," Astrid begged. She moved to stop him but he pushed her away. He focused, then, slowly, he took a step using his prosthetic foot. He wobbled but he kept his balance.

"Hiccup. Get back into bed, now!" bossed Astrid, petrified.

With his heart racing and head pounding, he braced himself and took another step, and fell, slipping on his metal leg. It was not able to support him. Astrid raced to catch him and they both went down. His eyes watered in frustration and he let out a weak, sorrowful moan.

"Oh, Hiccup. I told you not to," said Astrid sympathetically.

"Aaaah…ah…out," he said again, clenching his fists and feeling disheartened.

"I know," she said compassionately. "I know you want to." She didn't know what else to say. She just held him in her arms.

Toothless woke from all the commotion and came over sensing the hurt from his rider. He nudged Hiccup with his snout. Hiccup looked nervously at the animal and timidly gave him a reassuring stroke. "Arrrooo," said Toothless. Hiccup smiled. There was something about this creature he found strangely comforting.

Watching the two of them interact, Astrid suddenly had an idea. "Hiccup. Why don't you ride Toothless? You wouldn't have to walk then. Do you think you could manage that?"

Hiccup thought it over. Him? Riding a dragon? He looked at Astrid for reassurance and she smiled back. He guessed it could work. Nodding in reply Toothless purred and nuzzled him. Then, carefully, Astrid helped Hiccup up and onto Toothless' back.

"How's that?" She asked him.

"Goo… good," he whispered.

"Now, boy," she spoke to the dragon, "be gentle with him." Astrid guided Toothless out of the room with Hiccup sitting in the saddle.

As they left the healing centre, the bright afternoon sunshine blinded Hiccup. He raised his arm to block it out. Astrid paused Toothless for a moment to make sure everything was okay. Gradually his eyes adjusted and, finally, he was able to see.

Around him there were wooden huts, trees, the sky, children running around in play, people going about their business. He took in a long, deep breath and then exhaled. It felt so good to be out, to see the sun, to breathe in the fresh air. Astrid smiled as she watched him, relieved that her idea had worked, so glad to see him content for once.

"Good morning, Miss Astrid," said a voice behind them. It was Queen Mala. "And you too, young Hiccup. "It is good to see you're finally up and about. I take it you are feeling better?" Hiccup looked at her. Lots of questions once again sprang to mind. Who was this woman? How did she know him? How did he know her? But not wishing to appear rude he gave her one of his polite smiles with a nod for response.

"He's improving, thank you Queen Mala," stepped in Astrid. "We're just off out to get some air."

"I am glad to hear it. The sunshine and sea breeze does wonders for the soul. Well, I will not delay you any longer," and with that she turned and left. Astrid gestured to Toothless to continue. Hiccup looked back to watch the lady called Mala walk away. Another person he did not recognise. The uncomfortable feelings of isolation clung to him again, reminding him of his quandary. He felt detached. Separated. Alone. Why couldn't he remember anything?

Astrid looked up at him and noted the sad expression on his face. She felt for him but chose now was not the time so pretended not to notice. Together, in silence, they left the village in search of somewhere to go.

They found a nice, peaceful spot outside the village on a grassy cliff top overlooking the archipelago. Astrid helped Hiccup get off of Toothless. She then settled herself down next to him and together they watched the waves crash against the rocks below.

Hiccup regarded the sea in awe. It wasn't that he didn't know what it was. It was just that it felt like he'd only seen pictures in books until now, and this was his first time to be able to appreciate it. Why did everything have to feel this way?

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" said Astrid next to him. He nodded but there was sadness in his eyes. "I know that look. What's wrong?" Then, more hesitantly, "Are you able to tell me?"

Hiccup was taken aback. How did she know him so well? Who was she? Watching the waves, he thought of all the questions he wanted to ask. How could he put it? His head was already twinging a little and he felt drowsy. They hadn't gone far, and he'd been able to rest on the dragon, but the fresh air and the motion of the ride had been wearing for him. It was a huge effort getting any words out but he was determined to try. He just needed to be wary and pick his words carefully.

"D-d-d-d," he struggled. Astrid placed a hand on his shoulder for encouragement and patiently waited. "D-d-d-don't rrrremmmemmm…ber," he stuttered.

"I know," replied Astrid. It hurt to see him like this.

"K-k-k…" He tried. This word was going to be difficult. "K-k-k-…" he tried again. He closed his eyes tight and took a few breaths bracing himself. "K-k-k-qu-qu-questio…." He finally managed.

"Question?" Astrid asked. "You have questions?" Hiccup nodded. His head throbbing with the effort. "What do you want to know?"

He took a few more breaths, preparing himself and pressed on.

"Th-th-this… home?" he asked in a soft voice.

"No," replied Astrid. "No, this isn't home. We live on another island called Berk. This is Caldera Cay. Friends of ours live here. You had an accident a week ago and they found you and brought you here."

"Aaaaa…si….den?" he struggled to say.

"Yes. An accident. We think you bumped your head on a cliff during the storm last week." Hiccup touched the scab on the side of his head and looked at her quizzically. "Yes. Just there," she replied.

They sat in silence while Hiccup mulled things over. He soon wanted to know more. "Oth-th-thers… g-g-g-go." His head was hurting. He stopped for a moment to let the headache ease before he continued. "Hhhhhwhy… sssst-t-tsay?"

"Why did I stay?" Oh Thor, she thought. What's he about to ask? "I stayed to look after you. To help you get better."

"Hhhhhwhy?" he asked. When she didn't answer he tried a different approach. "Y-y-y-you fffffammmily?" All this talking was wearing. He was becoming tired and his headaches were getting worse.

"No!" Astrid said surprised and looked away saddened. "No. No, I'm not."

"Th-th-then hhhhwhy?"

Oh, Thor! She thought again.

"Hhhhhwho arrrrre y-y-you?" he asked.

Astrid looked back at him, afraid. It wasn't like things hadn't been difficult. In fact she believed it had been the most challenging time they had ever been through as a couple. However, despite everything, she was afraid. She didn't want there to be any awkwardness between them, not now, when things were finally picking up. What should she say? She was scared to tell the truth but she didn't want to lie either. Feeling flustered she looked at him and noticed a change in him.

"Hiccup, are you okay? You look exhausted." And he did. His eyes were heavy and his posture sunken.

"Hhhhwho?" he pressed.

"I….I'm…we… we were kind of together. Like I said before."

"D-d-d-don' unnnnn…er….sssstaaaaa," he struggled.

"Hiccup. Please. Let's go back." He was at risk of collapsing. She placed her hands on his shoulders to support him. "You've pushed yourself too hard again and you don't look well. Please. Get on Toothless. We can go back and you can rest."

"No! T-t-t-tell me!" He could no longer keep his eyes open and his head was banging like a drum. He knew Astrid was right. He was shattered, but he refused to give in. Having this answer felt so important for some reason. He didn't know why, but he needed to understand how he knew this girl.

"If I tell you will you promise to go back?" Astrid pleaded. Hiccup sleepily nodded his head. "Okay," she gave in. "We were together. A couple. Girlfriend and boyfriend. Do you understand that?"

He tried to nod but the migraine and fatigue meant he just couldn't fight any longer. He flopped over, his head lolled, landing in her bosom.

"Hiccup! Oh no." But just as she began to really worry Hiccup let out a big snore. Oh, thank the Gods! He was just asleep. He hadn't passed out like before.

Astrid tenderly lowered him down into the grass, lay down and settled herself next to him. She gazed at him for a long moment. Then, tenderly, placed a loving kiss upon his forehead.

They stayed like that as the sun began to set and the waves crashed on the rocks below.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Astrid woke up with butterflies in her stomach. Of all the questions he could have asked, why did he have to go and pick that one? She lay on her bed, her mind playing back all the events of the last week.

So much had changed. They had gone from a few days short of being knot-tied, Hiccup having an accident and at the brink of death, to him not even remembering her. Then he had to go and ruin whatever little they had left by asking her that stupid question!

She didn't know how to cope with it all. It was too much. She needed to get out. She needed air, and Stormfly needed her morning flight anyway, so she decided to get up and find her dragon.

Hiccup slept right through to midmorning. He had pushed himself hard and had thoroughly exhausted himself, but he didn't regret it in the slightest. He could talk. True. Maybe very little right now, but so what? He still could.

And he'd got some answers. This wasn't home. Home was somewhere else. Berk, wherever that was. He had had an accident. A nasty one, apparently, which had cost him his whole sense of self. And he knew more about the girl. It made sense – they having been a couple: the amount of kindness she showed him; the way she cared for him; worried about him. None of the healers at the centre who stayed with him until she came every morning gave him half the attention she did. They were more concerned about the clinical side to his recovery – that his head wound wasn't becoming infected; that his pulse was steady; that his pupils weren't dilated. Astrid listened to him, had fed him when he hadn't been able to feed himself, was patient with him, was concerned for him, read to him.

But knowing all this new information also sparked more questions and feelings. He didn't know her. Not now. Whatever she felt for him he couldn't reciprocate. What did she want from him? Did she expect him to like her back? Did she expect them to get back together?

All of a sudden he felt nervous and uncomfortable. Had it been the best question to have asked? Yesterday he had been so adamant that he had to know. Now, he wasn't so sure. He could have asked anything else but he had to put his foot in it and ask that one. Now he was uneasy at the mere thought of when she would come in through the door, relieve the healer who was sitting silently next to the bed, to read to him. He lay back on his pillow and fretfully waited.

Astrid and Stormfly came in to land a couple of hours later. Taking her to the feeding grounds, Astrid knew she should get Toothless for his flight now before visiting Hiccup, but her stomach squirmed into tight knots again and her heart leapt into her mouth. She just couldn't face seeing him. What did he want from her? How did he feel about her? What would he say? She just didn't know what to make of it all.

She stood facing the healing centre for a long time, lost in her thoughts. Then, from behind, someone approached her.

"Miss Astrid. Good morning." It was Queen Mala again.

"Oh, good morning, Queen Mala," replied Astrid quietly.

"How are you this morning?" Mala asked.

"Fine."

"Are you quite sure? You seem somewhat ill at ease. Is there anything you wish to disclose?"

Astrid sighed. She didn't really want to talk but she also didn't want to appear impolite.

"Hiccup has started to speak," she said.

"Oh, I am thrilled to hear that," Mala sighed with relief.

"He has also begun to ask questions," Astrid went on. Mala could see there was more.

"But this is good news is it not? He is making excellent progress."

"Yes. It is really."

"So what distresses you?" she pressed.

"We went out yesterday, as you know, and he asked me how he knew me. He wouldn't let it go until I told him we were a couple. Now I don't know what to do. I don't know what he expects from me or what he thinks of me." Mala stood there, silent, and listened.

"I always thought we'd be together. We've been through so much. I thought he'd always love me. He always has done, ever since I can remember, and I thought he always would. Now he doesn't even know me. What am I supposed to do now?"

"There are no easy answers to that question," replied Mala. "This is a very unique situation in which you and young Hiccup find yourselves. Though, one thing I know to be certain is that you need each other. You must remain strong and, together, you will find a way through this misfortune."

"That's pretty much what Valka said to me."

"And she was right. You have my deepest sympathy, Miss Astrid, but I am confident you two will get through this. In the meantime, if you ever require to talk please do not hesitate to find me."

"Thank you, Mala."

Queen Mala turned to leave, leaving Astrid staring once more at the healing centre.

No. It was too painful. She couldn't face seeing him. Instead, she decided to go back to her room, pick up her axe and go to the training grounds. She had some pent up energy to release.

Hiccup waited. Lunchtime came and went and still he waited. She was usually back from taking Toothless out by now but she hadn't come at all. Where in the archipelago was she? Toothless was growing restless from not having had his morning flight. He was pacing up and down the room, rubbing himself against the walls and coming up to Hiccup for the occasional stroke. Hiccup happily obliged. At least he had the dragon for company. His confidence in the creature was growing by the day and he was becoming to enjoy having him around. The healer, who was sitting in the bedside chair, just sighed, spouted the occasional complaint that it wasn't very hygienic having dragons in this part of the facility, before continuing with her paperwork she brought with her to do.

Lunchtime soon turned into mid-afternoon and still she hadn't come. The original nervousness he had experienced turned into frustration. He wanted to get back out. He had enjoyed yesterday on the cliff and felt trapped here in his bed.

Bored, he gave up waiting for Astrid to make an appearance and turned to the healer.

"A-a-a-a-ah-out," he said. The healer looked up at him. "A-a-a-a-ah-out," he said again.

"What's that? I'm afraid I don't understand."

"A-a-a-a-ah-out," he said more firmly, but the healer just gave up, turned away and continued checking through her papers. She seemed irritated by something. Possibly by the fact that Astrid hadn't come to relieve her and she was stuck here with him. Well, he didn't want to be here either.

He looked over at Toothless. They were both restless. They both wanted to get out. It had worked well yesterday, maybe he could ride him again. They could go out together. Hiccup stuck out his left hand and called the dragon over.

"C-c-c-co-co-co-mmmmmme," he struggled to say. Toothless paused his pacing and looked over at Hiccup. His rider wanted him. He bounded over happily and nuzzled his rider's hand. Hiccup smiled. How could he have ever thought this great creature to be vicious and cruel? It showed so much affection towards him. It was like an over-sized pussy cat or puppy. Hiccup rewarded the animal with a tender stroke. Yes, he decided. He was going to try.

Hiccup placed his hands both sides of himself and raised himself up. The healer paused and watched. Hiccup threw back his covers and attempted to get out of bed.

"No! No, you mustn't do that. Come on, now. Back into bed with you," she said making a grab for his arm.

""N-n-n-no. A-a-a-a-ah-out," replied Hiccup.

"You need to stay in bed. You must rest," said the healer attempting to ease him back down.

"N-n-n-no! G-g-g-g-get o-o-o-o-o-ffffff!"

"Someone!" shouted the healer still trying to wrestle him down. "Somebody, please help! I need assistance! We have an incident with a patient!" Another healer came rushing in. "The patient is not of sound mind and is uncooperative. Help me get him settled."

There were now two healers on top of him, both trying to prevent him from getting out of bed. He was getting stronger but he still lacked enough strength to fight off one, let alone two women. He tried all the same.

Toothless didn't know what to do. His rider seemed distressed but these people had been helping to look after him. What should he do? Agitated, he began pacing up and down again.

"G-g-g-g-get o-o-o-o-o-ffffff mmmmmmmmmmmeeeee!" cried Hiccup. His anger rose. He grew more determined and, finally, managed to throw one of the healers off, pushing them on the stomach.

"He hit me!" she cried.

"I think we need some distilled sage fruit solution. We need to pacify him if he's becoming aggressive and unreasonable," replied the other still frantically pinning him down.

What were they talking about? He only wanted to go outside. They were the ones being unreasonable. He didn't like the sound of that solution. Pacify him? No thank you. Panicking, he fought harder. He would get out. He'd get out of here and show them. Show them he was okay.

"We need distilled sage fruit solution! Now! And more helpers to get this dragon out!" she called through the door then ran back to help her colleague.

"Aaaaaaarrrrrggghhh!" Hiccup screamed. It hurt his head but he didn't care. He just screamed. How dare they do this to him?

Toothless saw the distress upon Hiccup's face and realised he was in trouble. He made to pounce but he was just a little too late. Two healers ran through the open door and landed on top of him, pinning him down. He tried to fight them off but together they were too strong. He made to blast but a third person quickly placed a mouth guard over his snout.

Outside, Astrid was walking passed having had a thorough workout in the training grounds. She heard the commotion coming from inside the healing centre and stopped to listen. That was Hiccup. He was screaming! Panicking, she raced inside to see what was going on.

There were now several healers inside the room. Two, either side of Toothless, struggling to contain him and trying to get him out. Another two fought the distressed Hiccup and a fifth was decanting some sort of liquid into a goblet.

"What in Thor's name is going on?" she bellowed.

"Miss Astrid," spoke the healer measuring the required dose of the solution. "If you'd please step back. The patient is in an aggressive state and has already injured one of our healers. We need to subdue him to sleep."

Astrid watched in horror as the healers wrestled with Hiccup. His eyes were wide with terror as he thrashed on the bed.

"Get off him!" she yelled. "Can't you see you're frightening him?" and she made a dash for him but the healer holding the goblet stepped in her way.

"No. Please, Miss Astrid. We have this. You must not interfere."

"How dare you?" cried Astrid and barged her way through. "Get off him! Now!"

Astrid made her way over to the bed. But as she stepped between them, Hiccup succeeded in releasing an arm from the healer's grip. It swung back and his clenched fist smacked right across Astrid's left cheek.

They both stopped. Stunned. He hadn't meant to hit her.

The healer with the goblet seized her opportunity and with the two others by the bed pinning him down again she forced the contents down his throat, making him gag.

Astrid snapped out of it. She ran towards the bed but once again a healer tried to prevent her.

"HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!" Hiccup heard her say. He continued to struggle but he could do nothing. The distilled liquid was already taking its affect and he slipped quickly into unconsciousness.

Fog surrounded him. He could neither see nor hear anything. He felt trapped. Something was pinning him down, preventing him from being able to move. It was terrifying. The more he struggled the more he was restrained. Why? Why was this happening to him?

Gradually, something appeared through the mist. A shadow. It was calling him. He focused on it. Was this what was containing him? Slowly, the fog began to clear and the shadow morphed into a human shape with head and shoulders. It was above him. He could feel its arms on his shoulders pinning him down. He fought but it was too strong. No. He wouldn't be a prisoner. He would get out. He would get out of here.

His head felt fuzzy and his eyes heavy but he forced them to open. Everything around him was blurred. The person above him, holding him down, was calling him. He continued feebly to struggle. He was too weak. Let go! he thought. Let me go!

"Hiccup! Hiccup!" called the person above him. "It's okay. It's okay. They've gone. It's just me. You're safe now."

He knew that voice. It was her. She was here. He grabbed onto her tightly and looked sluggishly around the room, fearful the other women were still there about to force that dreaded liquid down his throat again.

"It's okay," she repeated. "They're not here. Queen Mala sent them away. She told them to leave you alone. They're not coming back. It's okay. You're safe now."

Still clinging to her, he regarded her for reassurance, his eyes full of fear.

"You're safe," she said once again gently. Valka and Mala had been right. He needed her.

He looked once more around the room. She was right. They were gone. It was just him, Astrid and Toothless in the room. He let out a shaky moan and loosened his grip on her beginning to relax.

"You were out for two hours. How are you?" Astrid asked.

Hiccup lay down on his pillows and looked back at her. Concern was etched across her face. Then he spotted something on the left side of her face just below her eye. He reached out and touched it. It was a bruise. A big, black bruise. He remembered he'd lashed out and hit her. He'd given her a black eye.

Still slightly under the influence of the drug, his cognitive state was a little sluggish. He closed his eyes to help himself concentrate and forced out his words, slurring as he spoke.

"I-I-IIIIIIIIII'…mmmmmm… ssssssssssss," he struggled.

"You're sorry," helped Astrid. "I know. I know you are," she reassured him. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. And I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I didn't come to see you. I could have prevented this. I was just… I was just too scared after yesterday. Stupid really."

And they were back there. Both unsure what to say. Both feeling uncomfortable. Both uneasy at the thought of the others feelings. They sat in silence together for a long time. Then, finally, Hiccup had an idea.

"B-b-b-beeeeeee… fffffffffffrrrrrrrieeeennnnds?"

"Friends?" considered Astrid. It hurt. It felt like another step backwards to her. To think they had so nearly become husband and wife and now they were to be friends. But maybe it was for the best. It was probably all he could offer her right now so she nodded in response.

"Nnnnnnnnot g-g-g-goooooo… a-a-a-ah-out?" he asked.

"Hiccup. Did you seriously just try to crack a joke?" He grinned at her, pleased with himself. "It was lame," she said grinning back and playfully punching him on the arm. "Yes. We can be friends. And, maybe, instead of going out, we should just stay here and I can finish off that story we started."

With that she took the book she had been reading off the bedside table, settled herself in the chair, brushed her fringe back and picked up where she had left off. Hiccup too settled himself down on his pillows ready to listen to her. It was okay, not to go out today. It had been quite an eventful afternoon and he was worn out. They could try again tomorrow instead.

Over the next few weeks Hiccup's health improved greatly. His headaches eventually ceased, making it easier to speak and he stuttered less and less. With support from Astrid and Toothless he learned to walk again. They would practise in private inside the room, firstly locking arms, whilst Hiccup staggered. Then he would hold onto a wall with one hand and Astrid with the other. Finally, as he grew in strength, he was able to walk alone for brief periods while she stepped backwards in front of him ready to catch him if he stumbled.

Each day they would go out visiting different parts of the island. Initially, he would ride on Toothless to save his pride and strength, but after a month and a half he was well enough to walk unaided. Their trips out gradually increased in length as Hiccup's condition improved until he was well enough to remain out all day.

They would spend time playing with their dragons, Hiccup getting to know Toothless. He learned just how affectionate this animal was: that he enjoyed being scratched just behind the ears and neck; that, when he licked him, his saliva was extremely sticky and wouldn't wash out; that he loved to pounce after little specs of light glittering on the ground when Hiccup or Astrid produced them with shiny objects.

One day they all went to the beach. Hiccup scratched an image in the sand with a stick he'd found while he and Astrid talked. They heard behind them a large snapping sound. Toothless had ripped a branch off a tree and began mimicking his rider by creating a large swirling pattern in the sand.

"Fascinating," said Hiccup.

Astrid laughed and said "It's one of his favourite games he likes to play with you." Hiccup watched, mesmerised by this behaviour.

Astrid would show Hiccup the different types of dragons which lived on Caldera Cay and educated him about them. They visited the eruptodon, The Great Protector, at the top of the volcano and she told him she protected the Defenders of the Wing tribe by devouring the lava flow and, in return, the villagers worshipped the beast. She also showed him the terrible terrors, explaining that they used them as air mail by carrying messages to and from Berk and that this was how she was able to keep in touch with their friends and his mother.

"You talk a lot about my mother," he said once, "but nobody else. Do I have any other family? Any brothers or sisters? And where is my father?"

"No, Hiccup," Astrid said apologetically. "I'm afraid it is just you and your mother. Your father died just over seven months ago."

Hiccup felt strange. He thought he should be heartbroken, that he should grieve, but he felt nothing but an ordinary sadness anyone would feel for having heard of a passing. But this man had been his father. The man who had raised him.

"How did he die?"

Astrid tried to pick her words carefully. This was a sensitive subject. She knew he'd ask this sooner or later but she'd been dreading it just the same.

"There was a war between Berk and a man who wanted to control all dragons called Drago Bludvist. I'm sorry, Hiccup, but for a while he was able to control Toothless. He was going to have him kill you but your father pushed you out of the way and took the blast instead."

Hiccup looked over at Toothless. He was happily rolling about on the grassy bank of the cliff side playing with Stormfly. How could this be? In the last few weeks he had learned dragons were gentle, amazing creatures. How could his very own dragon do something like that?

"It wasn't his fault," Astrid interjected, seeing the look on Hiccup's face. "He was made to do it. He was being controlled by Drago and the bewilderbeast, an alpha dragon. Later, when we flew back to reclaim Berk, Toothless protected you from an icy blast, saving your life. He is loyal to you, Hiccup. More than any other dragon I know. He would never hurt you."

It was a lot to take in. They sat together in silence overlooking the sea. Astrid, letting Hiccup absorb the information.

"Is that when I lost my leg?" Hiccup asked.

"No. That was in another battle with the Red Death. You and I were fifteen. Vikings and dragons were at war with each other back then."

"What do you mean 'at war'?"

"We haven't always flown dragons. They used to raid us for food for their alpha and we would kill them. But you and Toothless changed all that. See, his left tail fin is missing? You shot him down. We were all supposed to be learning how to kill dragons, but in secret you were befriending Toothless and learning all about him. Everyone was amazed by your skills in the ring. Nothing like anyone had ever seen before.

"Then, one day, you were chosen to kill the monstrous nightmare for right-of-passage and everything went wrong. You tried to show everyone we didn't have to kill them, that dragons weren't who we all believed them to be. But when your dad, the chief, stopped the fight…

"Chief?" Hiccup looked up abruptly.

"Yes. You were Stoick the Vast's son." She paused for a moment to let this seep in.

"But, if my dad was the chief and he's now dead, would that…" he broke off. The words stuck in his throat and he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Yes, Hiccup, you were. But you don't have to worry, your mother's covering for you. You just need to focus on getting yourself better."

Hiccup didn't say anything. This was a lot to deal with. Did it really mean he was supposed to be chief of this place called Berk? He? A leader?

Astrid waited for a moment to see whether he'd have anything else to say but Hiccup remained silent.

"Is it alright for me to continue?" Hiccup jerked a nod. "Like I was saying, when he stopped the fight, the monstrous nightmare tried to kill you and Toothless came to protect you. Your dad captured him then used him to find Dragon Island. He'd been after the nest there for years and was planning on killing them all.

"You weren't going to let them do it and hurt Toothless, so you got me, Snotlout, Ruff, Tuff, and Fishlegs together and taught us how to fly. We arrived soon after the dragon had come out of its cave. You found Toothless and together you conquered the red death. Then, right at the end, no one saw what happened exactly, but you had an accident. That's how you lost your leg."

Astrid finished her story and looked over at Hiccup. He was hunched over, staring into space.

"Are you alright?" she asked apprehensively.

"It's a lot to take in," admitted Hiccup. "Did I really do all that?"

"Yes, you did," she said with pride. "Without you things would never have changed. You changed things for the better. You've achieved great things, Hiccup."

Hiccup couldn't handle her compliments. He found the combination of learning all this new information and her approval overwhelming. So, he had no other family; his father was dead; he'd fought off monstrous dragons and lost his leg in one of the battles; had been the one responsible for all the change she talked about; to top it all off he was supposed to be the chief. And she was proud of him for it. He couldn't handle it. He brought his legs up to his chest and cradled himself.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again more concerned.

He wasn't. He didn't know how to deal with this. He couldn't bring himself to believe he'd achieved all that and he couldn't handle her admiration. He didn't know why but her words grated on something within him.

"Hiccup?"

"I'm fine," he said flatly, keeping his gaze away from her.

"Is it something I said? I know it's a lot…"

"I said I'm fine."

Astrid didn't know what to do. He had gone somewhere where she couldn't reach him. They sat there in a long, awkward silence, both feeling tense and uncomfortable.

Hiccup felt a pat on his side. Then, a more forceful nudge.

"Arrrooo." It was Toothless.

"Oh! Hey, bud," said Hiccup a little startled as his trail of thought had been interrupted.

Toothless gave Hiccup such a prod he was knocked over.

"What was that for?" asked Hiccup scrambling to his feet.

"Purr." Toothless circled Hiccup, brushing against him.

"I think he's asking you to take him for a ride," said Astrid with a half-smile.

"A ride?"

"He wants to go flying with you."

"Arrrooo," said Toothless as if to say "yes, please."

Hiccup felt nervous. He'd never been flying before. Well, not from what he could remember, not since his accident, and he didn't know what to do. Astrid had always taken him.

Seeing his anxiety, she made a suggestion, "Why don't we go together? You could sit behind me whilst I ride him."

"Ummm…" Hiccup thought it over.

"I could teach you. Would you like that? Would you let me show you?"

Toothless circled Hiccup again and gave him another firm nudge from behind.

"Err… okay. I don't think I've got much of a choice anyway," he joked.

Astrid smiled, glad that the awkwardness between them had dissipated and, though Hiccup had chosen not to open up to her, at least they were talking again.

Astrid climbed onto Toothless' saddle and helped Hiccup climb on behind her.

"Okay, Toothless. We're ready," and they took to the sky.

Toothless rocketed high into the air at such speed Hiccup was flung backward dangerously. Astrid grabbed his back to prevent him from falling off.

"You've got to hold on."

Hiccup flopped forward, clung tightly to her waist and shielded his face behind her shoulder.

"Easy there, Toothless. We want him to enjoy this." As Toothless slowed down into a gentle glide Hiccup began to relax and looked around. He gasped in awe.

They were flying miles above the sea with the wind blowing lightly through their hair. He looked back to see Caldera Cay disappearing into the distance. They were so high up he was able to reach out and touch the clouds inches above him and down in the sea he saw enormous dragons swimming through the waters.

This was incredible. With all his worries and insecurities forgotten, he inhaled deeply the salty sea air and sighed. He felt free.

"This is amazing," he said half to himself and rested his hands upon Astrid's shoulders.

Astrid beamed with happiness. This was her Hiccup, she could feel his presence with her now. Admittedly he still couldn't remember anything, but she could sense his being, the dragon lover and gentle soul that he was, the Hiccup she had fallen in love with was coming through. He wasn't lost, not completely. He was alive. He was here. He was recovering. She would get him back. There would be a Hiccup and Astrid again. Someday.

As they flew on through the sky passing island after island, the sun beginning to set below the horizon, she clung on tightly to that hope.


	6. Chapter 6

"No! Absolutely not. My son has been through enough. I will not have him made a spectacle of."

"Valka," urged Gobber, "I too care for the lad. This is not abou' making a spectacle of him. The people hold your son in the highest regard and all they want is to celebrate his return."

It was late evening and the two of them sat inside the Haddock cabin round the table drinking ale. News about Hiccup's current state of health and his now impending return to Berk had spread like wild fire round the village: it was all anyone could talk about. This fact bothered Valka. She didn't take kindly to those gossiping about him and raged at anyone she caught doing so.

"It will be too much for him. In Astrid's last letter it plainly states he still has no recollection of himself or others and he won't know how to cope with all the fuss."

"Aye, I am aware of tha'. But think, Valka. All I'm asking is a chance for the people to welcome their chief home. Once they've had their cosy little hello, all they will want to do is to feast and be merry. Hiccup doesn't have to attend the do if he's not up to it. Please, Valka, satisfy them. Give them tha' and then they will leave him alone. They won't let him be if ya don't."

Valka was defeated. Still new to Berk herself and only two months in the role of acting-chief, she relied heavily on Gobber for moral support and advice, but when it came to Hiccup's well-being, the twenty-year separation they'd had vanished and her motherly instincts to protect him were as strong as ever. She would not allow anyone to upset him. However, she could see Gobber was right. Being in the position of chief, Hiccup was going to be harassed by the people of Berk one way or another and allowing them one evening where they could burn off steam may work in his favour.

"Oh, alright. Let them have their party, but we must notify Astrid immediately so she may prepare him. And don't for one minute think I'm happy with the idea."

"Thank you, Valka," said Gobber. Sensing his dismissal, he nodded a bow and left.

"Hey! Who put you in charge?" whinged Fishlegs.

"The banner was my idea. I get to decide what goes on it," retorted Snotlout.

"No, it wasn't. Gobber asked both of us to make it."

"And Gobber has already decided on the design," interjected Heather as she walked past them on the grass, making her way up the long, stone steps towards The Great Hall, arms filled with pots and pans. "It will say 'Welcome Back Hiccup'. Nice and simple."

"Shut up, Heather," Snotlout grumbled to himself. The twins lay on the grass just above smirking.

"We've all been given a task to do," Heather went on. "I'm leading the banquet, Ruff and Tuff, are creating zippleback gas filled balloons and lighting a fire image in the sky and you and Fishlegs are making the banner. You've only got a few short hours to do it in or it won't be ready. He's coming back tonight so you'd better get a move on."

"She's getting worse," muttered Tuffnut to Ruffnut. "More like Astrid every day."

"Have you two sorted out your sky picture yet?" Heather said turning on them.

"Not quite. Ruffnut keeps making Hiccup's nose too small. It needs to be bigger. More authoritarian like. Impressive enough to be a Berkian chief's nose."

"What do you mean I keep making it too small? If it got any bigger he'd have no face left. He'd be nothing but nose."

"Hiccup as a big nose… Very suitable: a nosey Hiccup. Nosey, snoopy, meddlesome, intrusive, sneaky, officious, nosey…"

"Thor, help us," sighed Heather. "Look, just get it done," she ordered.

Tuffnut stuck out his tongue at her but Heather ignored him.

"You know, I still find it hard to believe what happened. Hiccup and Astrid, going through all that. I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be."

"I know, right," replied Fishlegs. "They were going to get knot-tied too." Heather and Fishlegs exchanged glances, both thinking the same thing. How would they cope if it ever happened to either of them?

"I can't wait for him to take back the role of chief," said Tuff. "I thought he was quite the self-important control freak until his mother took over. She never lets us have any fun."

"Yeah, really bossy," agreed Ruffnut.

"He won't be chief when he comes back you idiots," snapped Snotlout. "Valka's still going to be acting up."

"Who are you calling 'idiot'?"

"Not you my princess," back-tracked Snotlout. "You are the light of my life, the woman of my dreams…"

"Go on," encouraged Ruff.

Heather rolled her eyes and carried on up to the hall to get on with preparing the feast, leaving the others to it.

Back on Caldera Cay, Hiccup was in his room supposedly finishing his packing. He stood facing his bed deep in thought as Astrid walked in behind him.

"Hiccup, are you nearly ready? We need to leave soon if we're going to make it before nightfall."

"Almost," he said quietly, not turning round.

"Is everything alright?" she asked. She approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder attempting to get his attention. He gave her a quick sideways glance and sighed.

"It just feels strange leaving," he admitted and pursed his lips. Astrid stood by him, silent. He could tell she wanted him to talk but it was hard. Opening up made him feel vulnerable. He had a strong, misplaced fear of rejection. If he dared to disclose his thoughts and feelings to her he was afraid of the reaction he'd get, that she would think him pathetic and laugh at him. He knew these feelings were irrational but they overpowered him and his mind froze, stuck in a painful state of being. She was so patient with him. Why was she willing to try so hard? Surely he wasn't worth her bother. But there was no sign of her giving up; she continued to stand there waiting, so, from deep within the tangled mess that was his mind, he forced himself to say something that might satisfy her.

"This…" he gestured to the room. "This is all I know. I… I-I don't know of anything else. I-I know I'm supposed to be going home b-but I don't know what 'home' is. I won't know anyone there…" He stopped. That had been so hard to say. There was more too. He was petrified of the idea that he was going to be placed on display for the whole village, but he couldn't bring himself to admit this too. Clenching his fists, eyes shut tight, he waited for her response.

"I know this is hard for you," she said gently, trying to soothe him, "but we need to go back. This isn't our home and, if it means anything, I'll be there. You'll know me."

It did mean something. She'd been with him right from the start. She'd helped him through all his pain and struggles. Why would anyone do all that for him?

"Thanks, Astrid. I appreciate it," he said quietly.

"Well, I'll give you a few more minutes to finish off. I'll be outside with our dragons waiting," and she turned and left.

Hiccup let out a shaky sigh as the door closed shut and took another glance round the room. He had finished packing ages ago but he was just reluctant to leave. Despite the fact that his memories here weren't all pleasant, he had grown attached to the place and it was proving difficult to let go. But he was better now, so everyone kept saying to him, and he couldn't stay here in the healing centre any longer.

Looking around, he spotted something familiar on the small, rickety bookshelf to his right. "Boulard the Brave and other terrific tales": the first book Astrid had read to him when he had woken from his accident and was stuck in bed. He picked it up off the shelf and turned to the first story and began to read. A strange sensation came over him. He didn't want to let this book go. There was an essence surrounding it he couldn't quite place, which made him treasure it for some reason but couldn't think why. Why? It was just a book, a tatty, old, book with pages falling out of its spine.

"Young Hiccup. Why do you dither? Miss Astrid is eager for your presence." It was Queen Mala.

"I'm coming," muttered Hiccup still staring at the title page of the first story.

"Boulard the Brave and the Sea Monster," a truly delightful tale. I remember reading that when I was not yet eleven years old. Lots of memorable tales." She studied Hiccup as he clung onto the book. "Take it with you."

"Mala? Are you sure...? I mean, I…"

"It is a gift." As Hiccup opened his mouth about to protest she added, "I insist."

"Umm… well… thanks. Thank you, Mala. That is… Thanks, for everything. You and your people have been very kind to me."

"Not at all, young Hiccup. My tribe and I are always eager to help those in need, especially those of our friends and allies we hold dear to our hearts. You, Astrid and all your dragon rider friends at Berk are forever welcome here. But now I think it is time you must go. Miss Astrid grows restless."

Hiccup closed the book and placed it carefully inside his satchel. He took one last look around and followed Mala out of the room.

Their conversation was somewhat strained during their flight to Berk. Astrid frequently tried to engage with Hiccup but he wasn't really in the mood so only gave short, abrupt answers in return.

They had decided they would pass by the island where he had had his accident to see whether it would help spark any memories but, as expected, it didn't – the cavern where he had lain, the ravine that he had climbed and the tree, now with a very mouldy, weathered piece of rope that he had hung from – none of it was familiar.

They then visited The Edge and Astrid showed him round the island.

"We spent the best part of two years here while fighting against a dragon hunter named Viggo Grimborn and his cronies Krogan and Johann. That's your cabin up there next to mine, that's the twins', Snotlout's, Fishlegs', and Heather's is further that way. Do you…?" she broke off. She knew what the answer would be, she could see it in his expression. They walked round the entire base but not once did anything trigger even the slightest recollection. Eventually Astrid left him looking around the dragon stables and wandered onto the decking. A moment later he too left and found her sitting at the end of the decking, looking sullen and sat down beside her.

"What is it? You look as miserable as me and that won't do," he joked trying to cheer her up.

"It's nothing." Hiccup gave her a knowing look. "Really, it doesn't matter."

"Tell me. We can't have both of us sulking. It won't do."

"You really want to know?"

"Really."

"Well, this place, this spot, just here, this is where we had our first proper kiss."

"Oh." Hiccup hadn't expected that. They had become good friends but whenever that subject was broached the atmosphere between them thickened.

"Like I said, it doesn't matter," and she turned away from him.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." Astrid braced herself and stood up, still not looking at him. "Come on. We've spent far too long here, we need to get going," and she left to find Stormfly.

Hiccup remained where he was a moment longer taking in all she'd said. He wished he could remember and feel the same way she did. He didn't like to see her hurt. He was beginning to feel there was more to this than she let on.

Sighing, he got up and followed her.

It was already dusk by the time they saw the watch towers of Berk alight in the distance.

"There it is. That's Berk, our home," pointed out Astrid.

Hiccup's heart leaped into his throat. This was it. Astrid saw him tense up.

"Remember, all you need to do is give everyone a quick smile and a wave. They just want to see you and welcome you home. After that it's completely up to you whether you want to join in with the festivities or go home." Hiccup nodded to show he understood. It still didn't make it any easier.

"Here they come!" someone down at Berk cried out and everyone began to cheer. The twins exchanged looks and leaped into the air on Barf and Belch.

Suddenly there was a huge figure ablaze in the sky.

"Whoa!" cried out Hiccup and reined Toothless to a halt in mid-air. "What is that? Is that… supposed to be me?" He looked more closely. "Is my nose really that big?"

"Ha, ha!" laughed Astrid. "No. But your hair is."

Hiccup gave her a perplexed look.

They flew down passed the image and under the welcome banner towards the cheering crowd.

As they dismounted a tall lady with autumn coloured hair, tied back in three long braids approached them.

"My son, welcome home. It is good to see you are well," and she wrapped her arms around him in a tender embrace. Hiccup could just about remember this woman visiting him when he had not long woken from his accident. She had not stayed long but he did remember her being just as loving then. Gingerly, he hugged her back.

Then they both turned to face the crowd.

"Your chief has returned!" Valka cried out. A loud ruckus broke out from the crowd in elation. Hiccup's cheeks flushed and he did his best to refrain from cringing. He felt most uncomfortable with all the attention.

"And Astrid, dear. I cannot thank you enough for all you've done," and the two women hugged.

"How was your flight?" Valka asked them both. "You must be worn out from such a long journey. Are you hungry?"

"I could eat," answered Astrid. "How about you, Hiccup?" She saw him looking across the crowd. It seemed he hadn't heard her. "Hiccup?" He turned to face her, a glazed expression marked his face. "Are you hungry?" He smiled weakly and grasped her hand, so tight it nearly hurt. His palm was all sweaty and his eyes darted across the crowd. He looked lost. "Valka, I think we need to go home."

Valka nodded in agreement.

"Heather, dear, please send our meals to our hut." Then, speaking to Hiccup, "This way," and took his other hand.

They walked past the gawking crowd with Toothless and Stormfly in tow, through Berk, and finally arrived at a hut high up on the hill overlooking most of the village. Cloudjumper lay on top of the roof, far too big to fit inside.

"You sit down here, love. Our food will be with us shortly," she said settling him down at the table before finding a seat beside him. "So, how are you, son? Astrid has kept me well informed about your progress, that you have recovered well?"

"I'm fine, thanks," he said coyly.

"Did their people look after you well?"

"Yes. Umm…"

"On the whole they did, Val," interjected Astrid, recognising Hiccup was struggling. "But I'm afraid there was one incident that I didn't mention in my letters."

"Oh?"

"To put it politely, there was a 'misunderstanding' with some of the healers at the centre and…" She was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," called Valka. Heather and two other people walked in carrying trays with plates of food and drinks. "Just pop it down here, thank you."

Heather placed Hiccup's food and drink in front of him giving him a smile. Hiccup smiled back sheepishly in appreciation and began to pick at his food. He showed no sign of recognizing her. Astrid and Heather exchanged glances, a mixture of unspoken words of welcome and sorrow.

"Thank you, dear. You may leave us now." Dismissed, Heather and her helpers left. "So, you were saying?"

"Yes, umm… There was a misunderstanding of sorts. It was at the time Hiccup couldn't speak clearly and was still in bed. He wanted to go outside but, thinking he was being difficult, they put him into a drugged sleep to subdue him."

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Valka in horror. "That's dreadful! Why didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"I thought about it, but the situation was dealt with. Queen Mala refused them access after that leaving me in charge of his care." Astrid reached out and placed a hand on Valka's shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but I didn't want to worry you. I thought it best to tell you this in person."

"Hiccup. Is this true?"

Hiccup gave his mother a quick glance, nodded, then continued to pick at his food.

"Oh, I don't believe it. I should have been there. I…"

"It's okay, Valka. You were needed here. I handled it. After that everything else ran smoothly."

"Well, I'm just glad you were with him. I have so much to thank you for, child."

Hiccup found he couldn't eat, his stomach was in knots. He placed his cutlery down and looked about the room.

"Maybe we should talk about something else, move our focus onto tomorrow. Hiccup, I am afraid I have far too many things I must do. You know Astrid. How do you feel about her giving you a tour of Berk in the morning? I can be with you by teatime. Would that be alright?"

"Sounds good I guess," he replied, only half listening. He felt out of place. He couldn't eat and the conversation put him on edge. "Actually, would you excuse me," he asked politely, getting up from his seat. "I'm pretty tired. I… err… oh. Wh-where is my room?"

"It's up the stairs straight ahead of you," said Valka. "Would you like any help?"

"No, thanks. I think I can manage." Then, as a second thought, "and, err… thanks for the meal," and he left with Toothless at his heel.

"I was afraid the welcome would be too much for him," muttered Valka after he'd gone. "I said to Gobber…"

"It's okay, Val. You couldn't have done anything else. Gobber was right, the people wouldn't have left him alone anyway. At least, this way, they've had what they wanted and should leave him be now."

They continued with arranging plans for the next day, but despite their hushed voices, Hiccup could hear every word as he stood by his bedroom door. He knew they were doing their best for him but he couldn't help feeling like some prized possession placed on show, being told where to go and what to do. He let Toothless through then closed the door.

He was in a fairly big space. His room seemed to cover most of the attic. The bed on the left side of the room, which lay under an open window with a pull-down hatch, was decorated with carved dragon faces hanging over the head of the bed on either side. A small cupboard and a table were placed either side of it. There was a desk at the far end of the room littered with papers and to its right was an oddly shaped slab of stone that looked to be some kind of raised platform.

He watched as Toothless plodded over to the platform, circle himself round, heating the area with a flame before settling down. That spot must belong to him thought Hiccup.

He continued to observe the area, taking in more of the room. There were lots of pictures pinned to the walls decorating the place, most of which were above the desk. Curious, he wandered over to have a closer look. Many were sketches of different kinds of dragon, some he had seen back at Caldera Cay with Astrid and others he did not recognise.

Amongst them were also pictures of people. A large man with a great, ginger beard and wearing a long, fur cloak appeared a fair few times. There was one picture where this man had been drawn with his arms around who he knew now to be his mother and… himself. R.I.P. with a heart was written at the bottom of the page. This couldn't be his father, could it? He was enormous, with arms three times as wide as his own and looked to be at least as strong. He was quite the scrawny looking thing in comparison.

Shaking off feelings of self-doubt that had risen, he moved his gaze to study some of the other pictures. There were drawings of a fair few other people dotted here and there, but the person who appeared most frequently was Astrid. There were many pictures of her varying in age, from what seemed to be as young as ten right through to how he knew her to be now, but he could see it was her every time. There were the same eyes, the same nose, and the same mouth.

He decided to take one down from the wall and went to sit cross-legged on the bed. He wanted to take a proper look. In this picture she looked to be about fifteen, maybe sixteen? She was leaning against a wall with one leg bent at the knee, holding an axe which pointed down towards the ground. She glanced to her right side, deep in thought, like she was waiting for something. A slightly disgruntled expression lay upon her face, though, by the way the image had been drawn it seemed most endearing. It appeared she may not have been aware she was being sketched.

He sighed and looked around himself again. This was supposed to be his room, his stuff, but it didn't feel like it. Nothing felt right. Nothing was familiar. Toothless seemed to have noticed his state of mind and came over, placing his head on Hiccup's lap to comfort him.

"Arrrooo."

"What am I going to do, bud? Everyone expects something from me. Astrid, my mum, the people… And I…" He sighed again and petted the creature. "You don't expect anything from me, do you? Whether I remember or not, you don't care. Thank you." Hiccup bent down and placed his head affectionately on top of Toothless' and stroked him.

"Purr."

Hiccup yawned. He was tired. He reached inside his satchel, pulled out the book he'd brought back with him before placing the bag on the side table. He then lay down on his pillows to study it for a while. Why did this book have such a calming effect on him? This tatty, old, beaten up book? He looked again at the picture of Astrid. She was quite pretty, and fun. She had been a great friend to him the last couple of months. He hugged both the book and the sketch against his chest.

It had been a full-on day and he was exhausted. Still laying on top of his covers, he rolled over, closed his eyes and was soon fast asleep with the book still cradled in one hand, the sketch in the other and Toothless, his dragon, watching over him.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hiccup! Your breakfast's ready!" cried his mother from downstairs.

Hiccup didn't answer. Too engrossed in what he was doing to have heard her. He was once more sitting cross-legged on his bed with pictures scattered all around him. A loud knock resonated through the room, making him jump.

"Come in," he called.

"Hiccup, I've got to rush off now but I've left your breakfast on the table. Your favourite – eggs and boar rashers."

"Err… thanks. I'll be right down." He sounded distracted.

"What are you up to?" Curious, Valka walked over to see what had caught Hiccup's attention.

"Just having a look at these." Hiccup selected a picture and offered it to Valka.

"Is this really my father?"

"Yes. That's him."

"I don't think I look very much like him," he said, subdued.

"You're more alike than you know."

Hiccup doubted that. "He's a very 'large' man. And…I'm…"

"I suppose he was." Valka studied Hiccup. This was the first time since Stoick's death that Hiccup had ever talked about his father to her. When she thought about it, she noted he had always changed the subject whenever she had mentioned him.

There was something in his expression now she didn't like. She could tell something was wrong and it bothered her, but she had to go. She perched herself on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, Hiccup. I feel awful to have to leave you on your first day home, but I really must go. I do want to talk more about this with you. Can we find a time tonight when I get back?"

Hiccup felt himself clam up. "Sure," he said strained, not looking at her. Valka felt awful but there was little she could do. She was busy filling in for him as acting-chief and there was just so much to be done. She bent forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, son. I am really, very sorry, but Astrid will be here soon to take you out and we'll have a chat tonight. I really want to listen to you. Make sure you eat now," and with that she left.

Hiccup sat rigid on his bed for a long time after, still looking over the sketches of his father. He really was a large man. How could such a great man like his father produce such a scrawny offspring such as himself?

Sighing, he cleared the pictures off the bed, placed them on the bedside table and went to have his breakfast.

A short time later there came a knock at the door. Astrid. Hiccup's heart leapt. He wolfed down the last of his overdone eggs and raced to answer the door.

"Hey."

"Hey." It was lovely to see her. The morning sun made her blonde hair glow and her eyes sparkle. She really was very pretty he admitted to himself.

"So, are you ready to go?" she asked, brushing her fringe away like she did whenever she was nervous. He liked that about her.

"Hiccup?"

He realised he'd been staring.

"Err… yes. Yes, I am. Umm… I'll just get Toothless," and he dashed back inside.

Astrid smiled to herself. She had noticed the way he'd looked at her and it made her feel giddy. Tread carefully, she thought to herself. Don't push him.

They decided to exercise their dragons first and explore Berk from above. Hiccup was fairly used to riding Toothless by now and was even able to attempt some of his more simple spins and dives. The two dragons and their riders swooped across the sky in a beautiful aerobatic dance. Hiccup felt happy, enjoying this time with this amazing girl. She really was something.

As they flew back towards Berk Hiccup took in the sights. It had been dark when they had arrived yesterday evening and there had been so much going on that Hiccup hadn't been able to take any of it in. Now, in the light of the day, looking down, he could see Berk was quite a large village resting on top of a high, steep island formed with many levels. Two watch towers that were stuck about half a mile out to sea were carved, from stone, to resemble very disturbing Vikings. There was a flame burning inside each mouth and the left one had part of his helmet horn missing. They were obviously there to look menacing, to help ward off intruders, but Hiccup thought they looked rather silly.

As they flew nearer, Hiccup saw lots of weird and wonderful things scattered amongst the village huts.

"Those are the dragon stables to your right," Astrid began to describe the place to him. He could see a strange looking green, decorated shelter jutting out of the rock with a supported platform in front. "That's just the entrance you can see. The actual stables lie inside a great cavern beneath our village which was formed by a whispering death attack a few years ago. I can take you there later for a closer look. And over there is our rainwater reservoir linked into the aqueduct system which runs right through our village. It provides us with instant water for whenever we need to douse fires, which occur quite frequently living amongst dragons. You and Gobber designed all of it.

"That over there, up those long, stone steps, is The Great Hall where meetings, ceremonies, banquets, amongst other things go on. And over there is the One-Stop Dragon Service Centre where we build fire-proof saddles, wing slings and even practise dragon dentistry. It used to be Gobber's blacksmiths where you and he made weapons back in the day when we fought dragons."

Astrid continued to describe the place to him. There was a lot to take in but he didn't mind. He enjoyed listening to her.

Then something caught his eye. He flew off leaving Astrid in mid-sentence. Carved into the island was a massive statue in the image of his father.

Astrid caught up with him.

"What is it?"

Hiccup didn't answer. He was lost in thought.

"Hiccup?"

"That's my father, isn't it?"

"Yes. How did you…?"

"I've seen him from pictures I have in my room."

"Yes, it's your dad. It was one of your first orders to have it made after you became chief." Astrid noticed he had the same faraway expression he'd had about him the day before his accident. He'd mentioned his father then. "What's wrong?"

"Err…" It was still hard to open up. Why was it so hard? "I don't know," he said at last. It was kind of true. Whenever he looked at this man, he experienced feelings of inadequacy and the need to prove himself but he didn't know why and he didn't know how to explain this to her.

"Well, okay. Maybe we should move on then. I'll take you round the rest of Berk." She seemed dejected. He hadn't meant to upset her but what else was he supposed to have said?

Next, Astrid took him round Berk's agricultural fields. He met Sven, the shepherd, who had lost his prized black sheep again. Then he met Mulch and Bucket – Mulch was busy trying to teach Bucket the difference between a chicken and a yak which amused Hiccup to no end.

"Is he usually like this?" whispered Hiccup as they walked away.

"You have no idea," she giggled.

As they re-entered the village with their dragons in tow, lots of people waved to him wishing him good morning. He noted pretty much all the men were built like his father – large and bulky, unlike him. He waved back at them sheepishly while Astrid continued to explain things to him.

"Arrrgh!" he cried out as something struck the back of his head, erupting in pain.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET AWAY FROM HIM!" Astrid bent down next to Hiccup where he'd fallen. "Hiccup! Hiccup! Are you okay? Talk to me."

"I'm okay." Determined to show her he was alright, he rolled himself back up. But he'd tried to move too quickly and his head span and his legs shook, threatening to give way. Astrid quickly moved towards him to steady him. As the pain eased off, he opened his eyes and saw Astrid looking back at him full of concern. "I'm okay," he repeated.

Tuffnut approached him.

"Hey, H. Feel any different? Remember anything? Can you tell me, who am I?"

"What? Who…?" Then turning to Astrid, "Who are they, and what are they talking about?"

"I guess it didn't work."

"What's wrong with you?" yelled Astrid, turning on the twins. "If I catch either one of you doing that again I'll… I'll…"

"Hey, chill out, Astrid. Jeez. We were only trying to help," grumbled Ruffnut.

"If that's your idea of help then don't bother."

Ruffnut muttered something to herself. Hiccup didn't hear it but apparently Astrid had. She snapped and lunged for Ruffnut. Hiccup quickly placed himself between the two girls.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down. It's okay. I'm okay, see? You don't have to do this."

With clenched fists and her chest heaving, Astrid reluctantly let the twins walk away. Slowly, she began to calm down and her anger was replaced with sorrow. She buried her face in her hands.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

"I'm sorry. I was just scared. I don't know if I could go through it all again." Without hesitation, she flung herself on him giving him a tight squeeze. Hiccup was taken aback by her sudden affection and gingerly placed his arms around her.

They stayed like that for a while until Astrid realised and broke away.

"Err…"

"So…"

"Where to next?" Hiccup asked.

Astrid smiled and thumped him on the arm. "This way."

"But we can't put it there. It'll be too close to where we have the other storehouse. If we can't place it in any of these other locations then it brings us back to my original suggestion for it to be over here, south of Breakneck Bog."

Gobber and Valka were in Hiccup's private workshop, borrowing it for their meeting. Gobber waited for a reply but none came.

"Valka?"

"Oh. Sorry. What?"

"You've been distracted with summat all morning. Come on, out with it."

"Sorry, Gobber. I'm just concerned about Hiccup. I might be imagining things but I feel there's something wrong. He's not right."

"Tha' boy's had a nasty accident and not been back a day. O' course he's not right."

"No, it's more than that. I found him looking through his sketches of his father and… Gobber. What was his relationship with Stoick like when he was growing up?"

Since Valka had returned to Berk she had been busy settling back into village life and this thought hadn't occurred to her before.

"By the Gods, Valka. That's a fair old question. Not sure how to answer tha'."

"Try."

"Well, where to begin." Valka glared at him. "Umm… well, you have to understand it wasn't easy for Stoick after you left. He took it pretty hard to be honest. Hid himself in his work he did and was rarely home. I had to babysit the lad a lot when he was young.

"When Hiccup was five he came and worked with me as my apprentice. Made it easier looking after him that way, see, and he enjoyed making things. Brilliant lad. Tonnes of imagination. Stoick didn't understand it. Wanted Hiccup more like him. A real Viking. And Hiccup spent a lot of time alone too. Not many friends I happen to remember. Being a wee, fragile thing, not beefy lookin' like the other lads his age, I think he felt ridiculed for it and had a need to prove himself. Think he thought Stoick thought this too, but Stoick didn't really mind tha'. He was just hung up on Hiccup being disobedient and not following simple orders. Stoick did the best he could as a father. Loved the boy, but for a long time they struggled to bond."

"I had no idea. I should never had left."

"Look. It sounds bad when ya put it like tha', but the boy has more spunk than anyone I know. I mean, he went behind all our backs and befriended a dragon for Thor's sake. A night fury no less! Because of him we wouldn't be where we are today."

Valka didn't find that fact very comforting. Her poor boy. Because of her, Stoick, a new father, had run the village on his own whilst grieving for her and because of that Hiccup had suffered as a result, with no mother and not much of a father. She had not considered it before. When she had found Hiccup and Stoick during the battle with Drago, they had seemed close. She had had no reason to think otherwise and when she returned to Berk she figured she had been focused on herself and hadn't realised fully the efforts Hiccup had gone to, to make sure she'd settled in well. But now that she stopped to think of his behaviour in the last few months, it all seemed to make sense.

"Gobber, cancel all my appointments tomorrow please. I'm going to spend the day with my son."

Next, Astrid took Hiccup to Berk's Dragon Training Academy where Fishlegs was doing his morning's teaching.

"Oh, look everybody. We're now in the presence of greatness. Here comes the world's supreme dragon master and our fine Chief Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third."

Hiccup froze as all eyes turned and faced him. Astrid took hold of his hand and he clenched onto hers tightly. His palm was sweaty again like last night. What was going on?

"Now everyone. I think that will be all for today. Don't forget to hand in your boulder class dissertations to me by the end of the week. I expect good work from you all." The children picked up their books and giggled as they left.

"You didn't have to stop your lesson on our account, Fishlegs. I'm just showing Hiccup around Berk. Hiccup, this is Fishlegs. He is one of two of Berk Dragon Training Academy's teachers. He teaches the young children all about the health and well-being of dragons while Snotlout, who you've yet to meet, takes the older ones and teaches them how to fly them."

"Hey," said Hiccup in greeting.

"Oh, Hiccup, it's so good to see you! We were all so worried about you!" Fishlegs gave him a huge, crushing bear hug.

"That's enough Fishlegs. Put him down now."

"Oh, sorry. I guess I got a little carried away. It's just so great to have you back." Toothless wandered over to him for some fuss. "Hey there, Toothless. Who's a good boy? Been looking after him for us have you?"

"As you know, Fishlegs, Hiccup has lost his memory. Well, it also means he doesn't know much about dragons anymore. We were wondering whether you would have any spare time to give him a few lessons."

"Me? Teach Hiccup? Eeeeeeee! I don't believe it! That would be incredible!" Then gathering himself, "Of course I will. It would be an honour. When would you like to start? I could fit you in early morning before my morning lesson or mid-afternoon."

"We'll have a think. Thank you."

"Yes, thank you… err… Fishlegs."

They said their goodbyes and went to find Snotlout who was quite amused by the concept of teaching Hiccup.

"Ha! In your face! Me? Teaching you? Oh, man, this is going to be epic."

Before lunch they had time to make one last stop so they made their way to the dragon service centre. As they approached they found a crowd of people waiting to be served.

"Thirty-nine!" cried out a hulk of a man from behind an open hatch – Gobber.

"Me! That's me!" rang out someone from behind and muscled to get passed. "Right. I want one of those new saddles with extra cushioning."

"Right you are." He got to work straight away.

"Hello, Gobber," said Astrid as they entered the building from a side entrance.

"Hello, lass. And Hiccup! Nice to see ya. How are you settling in?"

"Good, I guess."

"I'm taking him round Berk today, showing him everything."

"That's a swell idea. Well, lad. Welcome to the One-Stop Dragon Service Centre. Here we cater for all your dragon needs."

Hiccup was mesmerised by the place. He began to wander off studying all the gadgetry and contraptions around him.

"How's he getting on?" Gobber lowered his voice so only Astrid could hear and continued with his work.

"Alright I think."

"His mother spoke to me this mornin'. Seems to think something might be troubling him. You haven't noticed anything odd in his behaviour have ya?"

"Well," thought Astrid, "his confidence seems to have waned. Whenever…"

"What's this over here?" called Hiccup from the other side of the room.

"Oh, that. That's just a little project I started a while ago. Trying something new. Can't get the blessed thing to work though. The suspension's all wrong."

"Have you got two spanner wrenches? About this size?"

"Yes, I believe I do." He found two in a nearby drawer and passed them to Hiccup.

"I think it should work if you adjust the coil-over spring preload so it's further down. Do you mind if I...?"

"Not at all." Both Gobber and Astrid exchanged glances. They watched in amazement as Hiccup toyed with the machine.

"I'll just loosen these upper rings. This one to the left… this one right… try to get it to the desired preload then it should… yes!"

The contraption came to life. It whirred, shook, then a wing-nut flew off at high speed across the room and smashed a goblet on a shelf above.

"Oops! Sorry."

Gobber and Astrid were astounded.

"I-I-I'll replace that for you. I promise."

"That's great, lad," Gobber said snapping out of his trance. "You know, I could do with a bit of extra help around here. Would you like to come work with me?"

"Really? Here?"

"You could even have the spare room through there as your own workshop if ya like."

"You mean that? Wow," Hiccup said running his fingers through his hair. "I mean, thanks. Thanks, Gobber. That would be great."

Seeing Hiccup like this made Astrid so happy. It was lovely to see part of the old Hiccup she knew and loved was still there.

Later, they were sitting inside The Great Hall having lunch. They ran through all the things they had already managed to do and what they planned to cover that afternoon. Astrid did most of the talking while Hiccup listened as he ate. He felt relaxed watching her.

"And you were amazing helping Gobber like that. He was so pleased."

Hiccup flushed.

"I-I-I- don't know. I didn't mean to break the…"

"Hiccup. Stop putting yourself down like that. You were great." She reached over the table and placed her hand over his. He had clammed up again. What was she supposed to do?

"Hey, Astrid. Hey, Hiccup. Mind if we join you? I need to ask you a few things, Astrid if that's okay." It was Heather with Fishlegs.

Hiccup released his hand and continued to eat not looking at anyone.

"We're not interrupting are we?"

"No, it's okay. What did you want to know?"

As they sat themselves down, the twins and Snotlout appeared and plonked themselves either side of Hiccup. Before he knew it Fishlegs was busy talking to Snotlout about children who were nearly ready to graduate, the girls were discussing wartime tactics and the twins were seeing who could pull the most gruesome facial expression. He felt completely out of place.

"So, H," said Tuffnut turning to him. "Sorry about the whole knocking-you-over-the-head thing earlier. We just thought as a head injury caused you to forget, maybe another would bring your memory back.

"Uh-huh."

"It must be a bummer not knowing who you are. Not knowing anything. A mind a complete and utter void spreading through all eternity... wow!"

"Are you okay?" This guy, thought Hiccup, seemed to have lost it.

"Or maybe it's not so bad. Yeah, thinking about it, it must be pretty cool seeing everything for the first time. You get to start again, anew as it were." Then turning to Ruffnut, who was now licking and stroking Snotlout's arm, "Hey, sis, see if you can knock me out."

Hiccup didn't know what to make of this charade. He decided to ignore them and continue eating.

"So anyway," the guy started up again. "Have you and Astrid set a new date? I mean, it's dragging on a bit now don't you think?"

"Date? For what?"

"The big day."

"What big day?"

"You and Astrid getting hitched, being betrothed and all."

"Be-what?"

"Betrothed. You know, engaged, affianced. Thor! I thought you were supposed to be smart."

Everyone around the table had stopped.

Aghast, Hiccup looked over at Astrid. She was looking back at him in horror.

Astrid scrambled to her feet and flew out of the hall, Heather in close pursuit.

"You can be so unsubtle sometimes, you know that," Fishlegs said glaring at Tuff.

"Is… is it true?" The silence said it all. "Excuse me," and he went after her.

He found her standing on the grassy verge to the side of the steps just outside the doors. After noticing him, Heather stepped away to give them space.

"So… I take it we… we were…" Astrid nodded in reply. So, this was what she had been holding back. Suddenly, all her behaviour, her level of affection towards him, all made sense. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't," and she turned away from him.

They stood there in silence. Both feeling wretched.

Then, all of a sudden, Astrid blurted out, "Why did this have to happen? We were supposed to get knot-tied. In three days. Three measly days! But because you were working so hard, burning yourself out, I thought it best we postpone it a while and I told you to go have a vacation. But instead you had that accident and… and… oh! It's all my fault! It's all my fault!"

He didn't know what to say. He wanted to console her somehow. He didn't like seeing her so upset, but he didn't know his own feelings on the matter let alone what to do about them.

Panicking with what to do he stammered out, "I… err… well… maybe we… maybe we could try...?"

"Don't!" cut in Astrid. "Just don't! I can't bear to hear you say it if you don't mean it."

She glanced behind her shoulder at him, her face etched with raw emotion. Then, not being able to stand it any longer, she turned and ran.

"Hiccup! I'm home! Are you here?"

He didn't reply. He had been home all afternoon thinking over the events of the day and now lay on his bed, back to the door facing the pictures around his walls, feeling numb. He wanted to be alone. He had just started to experience feelings for this amazing girl he had not long known and now it seemed it was already over. He wasn't ready to feel quite the way she did about him, but if there had been any shred of a chance for developing a relationship with her it had been snuffed right out. He didn't know what to make of it all. She had been his only friend.

The door to his room opened and his mother poked her head through.

"Oh, Hiccup. What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," he said flatly.

He wasn't fine. She could see that.

"Did something happen today?"

"I said, I'm fine."

Valka didn't know what to do. She wasn't very practised at this mothering thing but something was definitely up and she couldn't bear to see him suffer like this. How could she get him to open up? She perched herself at the edge of his bed as a thought occurred to her.

"I don't know whether Astrid has told you this, but I'm fairly new to Berk too, in a way."

This grabbed Hiccup's curiosity. He remained still on the bed, listening.

"I've been back only a few short months and we've not long known each other. You see, son, when you were still only a babe in arms there was a dragon attack in our village. I was the only one trying to prevent the fighting but no one listened.

"Then, a dragon broke into our home and you were lying there in your cradle. I rushed in to protect you but the dragon wasn't harming you. Then your father came in having followed me and Cloudjumper, recognising me as a kindred spirit, took me away. I believed you and your father would have died that night just because I couldn't kill a dragon. I thought staying away would keep you safe but in reality I had left your father to run the village and raise our child all alone.

"Twenty years later, you and your father found me and persuaded me to come home. Though, sadly, that very day he died trying to save you. I know now that I should never have stayed away. I am so sorry, Hiccup, but I can't undo what I've done. All I can do is to try to be a good mother to you now, if you'll let me.

"I tell you all this, not to put any pressure on you, son, but just to say I think we have something in common. We both feel new to this place, both trying to find our feet."

Hiccup sat up, arms wrapped round his knees.

"I…," he struggled to speak. The words stuck in his throat and his heart rate increased. His mother had opened up to him. Telling him all that couldn't have been easy. Surely he should be able to try as well. ""I… I-I found out today that… Astrid and I… we-we were… betrothed."

Valka kept silent, allowing him to talk.

"She… it happened… I don't know… it was all so fast. She ran off… I… I don't know what to do…"

Valka turned round to sit beside him and placed a hand on his back.

"I-I-I don't know… it's like… it's like… my soul has been torn from my body and shaken out like a rug. S-so, all my experiences… naught to twenty-one… they're all gone. I feel crazy. I mean, they're my memories. M-Memories are what create you. Wh-what I created in myself is… gone and it's… it's really…," he sighed, "it's really… different. No one can understand. No one."

Valka put her arms around him. He needed to cry. He could feel pressure building inside him but it wouldn't give; something within was blocking the way.

"We can spend the day together tomorrow if you like," Valka spoke with a calming tone.

"But, the people… the village…"

"Will just have to manage without me."

Touched, Hiccup leaned into his mother's embrace, resting his head on her shoulder. His whole body tensed and shook, his face flushed and his chest heaved but his eyes remained dry. It was so painful but tears would not fall.

As they sat there together he took comfort in the fact that his mother was with him. He didn't have a father, he didn't know what to do about Astrid, but at least he had his mother.


	8. Chapter 8

"Come on, Hiccup, I know you can do it. You've dealt with injured dragons plenty of times before."

"Yeah, but I don't remember that now, do I?"

Hiccup cautiously knelt down in the thick snow beside the crack in the rock, held out the fish at arm's length and waited. A little green nose with over-sized nostrils crept out a fraction, gave the fish a quick sniff and then jerked back inside.

"Come on now little guy. We just want to meet you so we can take a look at that bad wing of yours. We're not going to hurt you." Hiccup continued to crouch by the rock patiently.

This time the whole head poked out. The tiny dragon gave the fish another sniff, snatched it out of Hiccup's hand and gulped it down whole.

"That's it, see?" he said as the dragon came out from inside its hiding place. It wandered over to Hiccup and brushed against his leg, seeking affection. He offered the creature a scratch behind the ear.

Fishlegs sneaked up next to them.

"Well done. Now, watch to see how I pull the wing back, ever so gently, holding it just here, being careful not to hurt it."

To distract the dragon while Fishlegs performed his study, Hiccup offered a second fish from the bucket behind him.

"Looks like it's only a sprain. Nothing too serious, but he won't be able to fly in that condition and if he can't fly, he's quite vulnerable out here. We'll take him back to the academy and he'll have to stay with us for a while until his wing heals. Here," he passed Hiccup a piece of cloth and some thin rope. "Gently wrap this round the wing. Tightly enough though, it needs to provide support."

As Hiccup created a sling out of the cloth for the injured wing, Fishlegs began to quiz him.

"So tell me, what's the species of this dragon?"

"It's a terrible terror. Belongs to the Stoker Class."

"And what else can you tell me about them?"

"They're the second smallest dragon species currently known, only larger than the fireworm, and grow to no more than six feet eight inches from snout to tail in length. They're one of the easiest dragons to train. Just offering them food and affection, proving to them you are not a threat, allows for a terrible terror to become a docile and loyal companion. Because of this fact and their outstanding homing skills, we're able to train them to carry messages for us. T-mail."

"Excellent. Full marks. You know, I still find all this surreal – me, teaching you about dragons! I really missed us geeking out together when you became chief."

Ignoring this remark, Hiccup rewarded the little creature for being such a good patient by offering him another fish, then gathered him in his arms while Fishlegs collected the bucket and the rest of their things. They trudged back through the crystal-white forest towards the village.

"You did well today, Hiccup. See? You do remember more than you realise. I may be a bookworm but this stuff comes naturally to you."

"I'm only doing what you tell me, Fishlegs. You're a great teacher," he said, cheeks flushing.

Fishlegs considered Hiccup. It saddened him to see his friend still lacking in confidence. But he was wrong. It wasn't really confidence Hiccup was lacking, it was that he struggled to accept praise. He was still unsure as to why but whenever anyone complimented him on his work or abilities he would blush and shy away.

Once they arrived at the academy Hiccup helped place the terrible terror inside a sick bay pen and offered one more fish to keep it subdued, gave it final stroke then closed the door.

"There," said Fishlegs behind him. "We'll be able to use him as a life study for a while. Then maybe we can move through the Stoker Class onto the monstrous nightmare."

"Yeah, maybe."

As Fishlegs finished putting everything away, he decided to brave what he knew to be a sensitive question.

"So umm, what's the situation with you and Astrid now? It's been getting pretty awkward what with her being Heather's best friend and all."

Hiccup froze in his tracks.

"She still isn't speaking to me," he said finally.

"Have you tried speaking to her?"

"What? Me? I don't know…"

"Why not?"

"How can I? She's in love with a guy I'm supposed to be but I don't even know. I don't remember anything about me, who I am, where I'm from, what I liked doing as a child…"

"You're still you, Hiccup. You haven't changed. You do have feelings for her, don't you?"

"I… I do."

"Then go talk to her."

"Easy for you to say: you're not the one whose life has been left in tatters!" Fishlegs looked hurt by that comment and Hiccup instantly felt guilty. "Sorry, that sounded awful. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

They shared an awkward silence. Fishlegs wished there was a way to help his friend. He couldn't bear to see him suffer like this.

"Well, umm…" said Hiccup eventually. "I've got to take Toothless for his morning flight. Thanks again, Fishlegs. See you tomorrow," and he raced out of the academy in search of his own dragon.

Hiccup and Toothless came in to land and settled themselves down on a blanket in their favourite hiding spot, which was enclosed by overhanging branches from a gnarled tree and a large shrub. Here, he had an excellent view of the Berk's Dragon and Fleet Army training grounds below and several feet away without fear of being seen himself. He had found this spot during one of their flights about two weeks after their return to Berk and now they visited the place this time every day.

He had lied to Fishlegs. Each morning he and Toothless got up extra early for their flight before his lessons so he could have this spare hour-and-a-half slot before making his way to the dragon service centre where he now worked with Gobber. He'd be there for the rest of the day unless he was due for some dragon flight training with Snotlout which took part twice a week, early evening. He didn't like the lying but he didn't want anyone else to know what he was really up to lest she, Astrid, somehow found out.

He threw Toothless a few fish from a saddle bag, grabbed his own breakfast out of his satchel and positioned himself by the gap in the shrub to wait and see if she would turn up. They didn't always use the grounds here. Sometimes Astrid would take her troops to nearby islands for their training and sometimes they would even train at night. It was hit and miss but it was well worth it for a chance of seeing her.

And there she was: straight back, axe at her side, face determined and unwavering, hair glistening in the sunshine. Butterflies danced inside him as he watched, admiring her as she led her troops onto the grounds. She was so confident and resolute.

He felt bad for spying on her like this, but this was the only chance he had to see her. It had been three months since they'd travelled to Berk and Tuffnut had let the cat out of the bag telling him they were betrothed. They hadn't spoken since. Every time they saw each other in the village she would turn and walk the other way. At lunchtimes he would often take his food back to the dragon service centre to be away from everyone. On times when he did happen to stay inside The Great Hall, they sat at different tables. They never approached each other. He would favour a table to himself, alone, not wishing to be hassled by anyone and allowing her to be with her friends.

With a mouth full of bread, he took a swig from his flask to wash it down and continued to watch her as she patrolled her troops doing their morning warm up routine. His heart skipped a beat. She was really something else: so wonderful, so extraordinary, so beautiful. He carefully brushed back a branch in the bush to improve his view.

He missed her. She had been with him from the moment he had first woken from his accident, when he had been fearful of Toothless. She had stayed with him on Caldera Cay and read to him every day when he was stuck in bed and couldn't talk. She had supported him as his strength returned. She had worried for him… had loved him… and now, she was gone.

He let out a mournful sigh.

Toothless came up to him and gave him a reassuring nudge.

"Arrrooo…"

"Thanks, bud. I'm okay," and he caressed the back of Toothless' ear.

"Purr." At least he had his dragon.

He had his mother too. Busy though she may be, filling in for his role as chief, she was doing her best to be there for him, coming home by teatime every day so they could spend time with each other. After their heart-to-heart on his second night she had taken the whole of the next day off and they'd gone for a flight together exploring the island. They'd had lunch at a place called The Cove and spent all afternoon talking, mostly about his dad. She had told him that they had first met during a battle against Oswald's Berserkers and fell in love with each other as they celebrated their victory, dancing and singing.

She told him how proud his father had been to become a father.

"He loved you, son," she had said. "That I do know. He was so proud of you and so am I."

Hiccup had turned away from her when she had said this.

"What's the matter, Hiccup?"

"How can you be so sure? You weren't even around."

"For twenty years, yes. But I know how he felt when you were first born. You were so precious to him and he never doubted that someday you'd become the strongest of us all. And when we met again, those twenty years later, the day he died, I saw then, too, just how proud he was of the man you'd become and what you'd achieved."

It had been a good day that day with his mother. He had struggled to accept what she'd said about his father feeling proud of him. It grated on something deep within him, but it had also been the start of a relationship between him and his mother.

There was something else he couldn't quite place that bothered him whenever he thought about his father. It was more than doubting his pride for him. If he strained to think, he thought he would almost discover what it was that troubled him about this man but just as he got close the feeling pootled out, disappearing just beyond his reach.

A few days ago he'd experienced something along the lines of a nightmare but he didn't think he could really call it that because he hadn't seen anything in the dream, he had just experienced agonising dread. He had woken up, bolting upright and sweating all over. This perplexed him no end.

Having his mother around and finding he was a pro at helping Gobber in the dragon centre was helping his self-confidence tremendously and it gave him something to focus on. He seemed to know almost every piece of equipment by name, what it was for and how best to use it. When given a task, he found he needn't ask for guidance and was often able to create something better than what had been expected. It stumped him to think why so much of his memory having been wiped clean that he was still able to perform these blacksmith duties.

Bonding with dragons was another. Regardless of feeling shy every time Fishlegs complimented him, he couldn't deny why he did. His abilities were unprecedented. Fishlegs called him his star pupil, impressed at the speed in which Hiccup was picking everything up and how he was able to create such connections with the creatures.

But despite all this, he still felt like an outsider, cut off from everyone. He didn't really know anybody, not the way they knew him. Five whole months like this and there was no sign of his memory returning. It was infuriating. Everyone was waiting for him to get better, to become Berk's chief again, but he was far from ready. He much preferred being left alone in his private study to tinker with pieces of equipment, or, better still, out flying with Toothless.

He really did miss her. As the months had drawn on, from autumn into winter, his feelings towards her had bloomed. He longed for her. Yearned for her. But what was he supposed to do?

With a heavy heart, he knew his time was up. He stole one last glance through the branches, collected his things and made his way back to the village.

"Hey! There you are, Hiccup. We've been looking everywhere for you."

"Huh?"

"Come with me," and Ruffnut dragged him along by the arm.

"Where are you taking me? I need to get to work or I'll be late."

"Got him!" she said and threw him down on a box. "Sit there."

As Ruffnut disappeared behind a makeshift curtain, Tuffnut stepped out holding a piece of parchment. He was wearing a clump of tatty sheepskin, dyed orange, round his face that Hiccup assumed must be his attempt of making a beard. He looked ridiculous.

Oh no, not another play! Since their attempt to hit him over the head on his first day back, he had become a kind of life experiment for the twins and they were determined to find a way to bring his memory back. Of all the ludicrous ideas they'd come up with lately, acting was one of their more tolerable. At least it didn't involve bludgeons or maces.

"Is this going to take long? I've got to get going."

Tuffnut cleared his voice and his expression became very serious as he prepared himself.

"Ladies and Vikings," he began. Hiccup noted he was the only one in the audience. "Welcome to the show. Today we have, for your entertainment, a performance of the highest quality, a tale of mystery and woe.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third will be played by our fine fellow, Snotlout Jorgenson; Astrid Hofferson will be played by our lovely Ruffnut Thornston; Toothless by Chicklet and I, Tuffnut Thornston, as the most talented member of the group, will play both Stoick the Vast and the narrator."

From behind the sheet there came a low voice.

"Psst. Ruffnut. Do I have to wear this? It won't stay on."

"Yes you do. Stop being a baby."

Hiccup sighed, slumped down and rested his chin in his palm, elbow on knee. Here we go again, he thought.

"There was once a young Viking called Hiccup," began Tuffnut.

Nothing happened.

"I said, there was once a young Viking called Hiccup," he said more firmly. "Snotlout, get out here."

Snotlout, holding onto Chicklet, was shoved through the misfit curtain and nearly fell over. He was wearing a green tunic which was way too small as it pulled at the seams. His hair had been ruffled up and stood on end in funny angles. He was also struggling to keep his balance. His left leg had been strung up at the knee and a piece of metal had been attached, supposedly to represent Hiccup's prosthetic though it didn't look like it was secured on properly.

"There was once a young Viking called Hiccup. He had met a dragon and called him Toothless. They became friends. He liked a girl called Astrid. Enter Astrid."

Ruffnut walked through holding a stage axe. Prop or not, it still looked rather heavy. She hadn't done much to change her appearance expect she had taken off her helmet and wore a different styled skirt to usual.

"Hi. My name's Astrid. I like to hit things with my axe and shout a lot." She let out a scream and smashed the axe hard into Snotlout's chest causing him to fall over.

"One day, Hiccup took Astrid for a flight on Toothless."

"Wait. What?" panicked Snotlout. He was just struggling to get back up.

Ruffnut went to climb onto Snotlout's back but the strapped on metal leg gave way and they both toppled back to the ground.

"Dreadful! Just dreadful! I cannot work under these conditions!" and Tuffnut threw his script into the air in disgust. Turning to Ruffnut he said, "Sis, you were superb. Splendid! Unlike some of the peasant folk we are forced to contend with."

"Hey!" Snotlout, disgruntled, sat and rubbed at his sore kneecap.

"Yeah, thanks for that. Really informative," said Hiccup dryly. "If you're quite done I've got to go," and without waiting for a reply he turned and left.

After their morning's training, the two girls made their way to The Great Hall.

"Are you planning on wearing anything special to the Snoggletog Ball tomorrow night?" Heather asked Astrid.

"No, not really."

"Maybe you should. I bet Hiccup will be there."

Astrid highly doubted this. He had become a bit of a recluse recently and he'd hardly seen anyone, let alone her.

"Have you guys sorted things out yet?" Heather probed.

"No, we haven't. It's been months. I feel like I've lost him, Heather."

"You don't even give him a chance. Every time you see him you walk off in the other direction."

"I'm waiting for him to come to me. He's the one who just wanted to be friends. What am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to create an opportunity. Give me your axe."

"My axe? Why?"

"Just give it."

Astrid reluctantly passed it over.

SNAP!

"Hey! That was my mother's!"

"You can thank me later," and Heather threw the broken weapon back.

"Oh, I don't know…" said Astrid catching on.

"Come on, Astrid. You two are made for each other. And we're all getting pretty fed up having to tiptoe around you guys with this whole charade. Stop wasting time and go win him back."

Heather was right. Without another word, Astrid nervously made her way towards the dragon service centre.

Gobber was there busy fixing a torn saddle. There was no sign of Hiccup.

"Hi, Gobber."

"Oh, hi, lass. Not seen ya here in a while. What can I do you for?" Then, on closer inspection, "oh! Hey, Hiccup! Get out here! I need ya to deal with this customer for me! Got to be… somewhere. Be back in a jiffy!" and he was gone.

Astrid heard movement coming from inside the private study. Her heart began to race and she bit her lip in anticipation.

Hiccup appeared in the doorway. He looked up and stopped. He stared at her.

"Hey."

"Hey." Then, snapping out of his trance, he threaded his fingers through his hair and rubbed his neck. "What can I do for you?"

"My axe is broken. Can you fix it?" She held it out to him.

He stared at her.

"Hiccup?"

"Err… yeah. Sure," and he took the axe. "Just needs a new handle." He went in search for one to fit the blade.

"How are you, Hiccup?" Astrid asked in an attempt to start communication.

"Alright, I suppose."

"I don't see you about much."

"That's because I like to keep to myself. Get hassled less that way." He looked back and saw the effect these words had on her. She'd taken them personally. "I mean by people like the twins and Snotlout. They see me as a cause of amusement and think it all very funny. They've been coming up with ridiculous plays of me and forcing me to watch them."

He selected a handle, moved to the workstation and began removing the old one.

"I think they're just trying to help in their own way," she said reassuringly.

"Hmmm…"

Hiccup obviously wasn't amused. Astrid decided she needed to try another tactic.

"It's Snoggletog tomorrow. They're starting a new tradition this year – they're calling it a ceilidh. Will you be there?"

"Doubt it. Think I'll just hang at home. Avoid the crowds."

Astrid didn't say anymore. Her heart had sunk.

"There. As good as new." He smiled at her as he passed her the axe, expecting her to be pleased with his work. She didn't look up at him.

"Thanks." She took the axe and promptly left.

Hiccup stood there watching her go, confused by what had happened.

Gobber appeared behind him.

"You maybe bright, lad, but sometimes ya can be a right idiot. Completely missed the point didn't ya?"

"What do you mean, Gobber?"

"Do you know what a ceilidh is?" Hiccup was stumped. "It's a dance. She wanted you to ask her to the dance tomorrow night."

"Really?"

"Really. She misses ya, lad. Anyone can see that. And you miss her too if I'm not mistaken. Why don't ya sort things out?"

Gobber turned back to continue with his work leaving Hiccup lost in thought.

The next evening, Hiccup watched from a distance, out of sight, as stragglers, many of which were couples, making their way up the snow covered stairway to The Great Hall. Resentment swelled inside him. They looked so happy, secure in the fact that they had no serious complications overshadowing their relationships.

She missed him. That's what Gobber had said. Missed him? Of course she missed him his logical side told him. She had been in love with him. They were going to get knot-tied. It occurred to him that, all this time, she had been waiting for him to come to her, but it was he who hadn't been ready.

He was scared to go into that crowded room, facing her in front of all those other people. It seemed messy to him and he wanted things to be perfect. But they never could be. Not now. Their relationship had taken such a harsh knock he wasn't sure how to make it right again.

She was in there, he knew that. He'd seen her go in half an hour ago. And he wanted to see her. He'd spent all afternoon getting ready. He felt foolish how nervous he was getting and how much time it took on deciding what to wear but he wanted to look good for her. He'd spent ages choosing but finally settled on a warm red tunic with brown trousers. Something told him she might like the colour on him. He'd also washed and combed his hair and re-tied his braids.

Toothless brushed against him and purred. Hiccup gave his dragon a stroke, acknowledging the attempt to reassure him. Finally, after nearly an hour of fretting, he braced himself and started up the long flight of steps.

He crept through the gigantic doors. His eyes darted about the room. Panpipes and lyres played jovially as groups and couples jigged and twirled across the centre of the room. Some people stood around, holding drinks while they made gossip while others sat at available tables, tucking into the buffet provided. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying themselves.

His heart began to pound, his breathing became erratic and the palms of his hands became clammy. He wasn't sure whether he could go through with this anymore.

"Hiccup! You made it. Wasn't sure you'd bother turning up."

It was Snotlout. Great. Just great! He flung an arm round Hiccup's shoulders.

"You going to ask her for a dance or what?"

"Umm…" Hiccup looked around and spotted Astrid through the crowd, standing with her arms crossed, leaning against the wall. She was alone and looked rather glum.

"Come on, you great wuss. She's been waiting for you."

"She has?"

"Of course she has, dumb ass. Get over there and talk to her," and he shoved Hiccup so hard, he stumbled.

Hiccup looked over at Astrid and braced himself again. This was it. Now or never. With butterflies going crazy in his stomach, he made his way over to her.

"Err… hey."

Her head snapped round. She was surprised to see him.

"Hey."

"Umm… may… May I have this dance, M'lady?" and he offered her his hand.

Astrid didn't answer. She just stared at him. Hiccup began to falter.

"Err… is it… s-s-something I said?"

"You haven't called me that in a very long time."

"Called you what? M'lady?"

She nodded, closed her eyes and bowed her head.

His nerves were getting worse, but he'd got this far. If he gave up now he wasn't sure he'd be able to try again.

"Well, err… will you…?" He offered her his hand again. "Astrid. Please. I've missed you."

She looked up at him and saw longing. He really wanted her. With a shy smile she took his hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor.

"I have to warn you I'm not very good at this," she admitted.

"Hey. You're the one with two legs. What am I supposed to say?" He'd cracked a joke. He couldn't remember the last time he'd done that.

From a across the room Gobber and Valka stood chatting. From the corner of his eye, Gobber caught sight of the couple.

"Will ya look at that?"

"Oh, at last!" replied Valka in relief.

Tune after tune, Hiccup and Astrid glided across the floor, gazing into each other's eyes. Gradually the music faded into the distance. They were alone in the crowded room.

Eventually they came to a standstill with the music still playing. Still holding onto one another, hearts racing, they leaned into each other and shared a tender kiss.

Astrid rested herself against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. As he felt her body shudder against his he pulled her tightly into him, comforting her.

It felt so right being with her. Whether on Caldera Cay or here on Berk it didn't matter. Home wasn't a place. Not really. Not to him. Home was whenever he was with her.


	9. Chapter 9

"No… No…! NO!"

Hiccup bolted upright. Sweating all over, eyes wide and a hand outstretched. He sat there in the dark for a long time, frozen with fear.

Another nightmare. He was having them every day now and they were becoming more intense, but still he hadn't a clue what they were about. All he knew was that he didn't want something to happen and he was unable to stop it.

His mum wasn't aware he was having these dreams and he had decided he wanted to keep it that way. He didn't want to burden her with any more of his problems. Good job she was away right now else he was sure to have woken her. He had cried out pretty loudly.

Breathing heavily, he pulled his knees into his chest and gently rocked back and forth.

Toothless had stirred. He stretched himself awake and came over to check on his rider.

"What's happening to me, bud?" he asked as he petted his dragon.

Toothless nuzzled him. He didn't like to see Hiccup so upset and wished he could do more to help.

It was the middle of the night. Everyone else was still tucked up soundly in their beds, yet Hiccup didn't feel like going back to sleep. He was fearful that if he did he may experience another one of those dreams. He had had two of them yesterday. To keep himself awake, he reached over for the book of "Boulard the Brave" resting on his bedside cabinet and placed it against his chest. It was an infantile thing to do and he felt a little foolish but he didn't really care right now. It comforted him. It reminded him of her soothing voice and the love she had for him. It surprised him when he realised just how much he loved her too.

He stayed like that all the rest of the night, watching the sky gradually grow lighter and listening to the village coming to life.

After some time there was a knock at the door.

He knew it must be Astrid. They had planned to spend the day together and she was going to call for him. They had been officially back together for about four weeks now and this was to be their first all-day date.

She was great: she was being so patient with him and happy to take things at his pace. He knew none of this had been easy for her to bear. He was so appreciative and found he only loved her all the more for it.

He put the book down and ran down the stairs to let her in.

"Are you nearly ready? I've made us some lunch as I said I would and I've even brought some yaknog…" She stopped as she took in his complexion. "Are you alright, Hiccup? You look awful."

He did. His skin was grey and bags lay under his eyes. It wasn't just last night he hadn't slept well, he hadn't slept properly for a week and he was bushed.

"It's nothing. I'm okay."

"It's not nothing. Something's bothering you, I can tell."

"I told you, it's nothing!" Hiccup instantly felt guilty, he hadn't meant to snap at her. He'd been doing that a lot lately with everyone. It felt like something was slowly pressing in on him, but it wasn't her fault and she hadn't deserved that. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit tired that's all. I didn't sleep very well last night."

Astrid thought back to a few months ago before his accident. He wasn't sleeping well then either and things were bothering him but he wouldn't open up. She gave him a hard stare. She wasn't going to let it go. Oh no, not this time.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing much, honest." He could see she wasn't going to accept this weak response. Sighing, he added, "I've only been having dreams… if you can even call them that."

"What are they about?"

"Nothing."

"Hiccup!" she warned.

"Honestly, Astrid. I really don't know. My mind's a complete blank. I don't see anything, don't hear anything. They just wake me up in the middle of the night and I can't get back to sleep." He left out the fact that they scared him. He didn't want to worry her too much.

She gave a resigned sigh and leaned in for a hug. She hoped he was telling the truth, that there wasn't more to it.

"Look, it doesn't matter. Let's not let it ruin our day. Let me get my hip-flask and I'll be ready."

A moment later, as they stepped back outside and were about to mount their dragons, Ruffnut appeared. She stood grandly and cleared her throat.

"Ladies and gentle-Vikings. May I request that you kindly make your way to the theatre and take your seats? The performance will commence shortly."

"Oh no…"

"Oh! Is this one of your plays, Hiccup? I haven't seen one yet," said Astrid, becoming quite animated.

"You've not missed much. There's not a lot to see," he tried to mutter so only Astrid could hear.

"So it won't take long. Come on, babe. We've got all day and it'll be fun!"

Hiccup wasn't convinced but she seemed so keen he didn't have the heart to disappoint her, so, grudgingly, he submitted and followed the girls to the same makeshift stage and sat down on the box next to Astrid to wait.

The twins and Snotlout were back wearing the same garments as before. The only difference was this time Snotlout's leg wasn't trussed up, for once he was standing steady on both legs.

"Today we tell the tale of The Red Death," began Tuffnut, acting as both narrator and Stoick once more.

As the play began, Astrid leaned in towards Hiccup and rested her head on his shoulder. His heart skipped a beat at the sudden affection and he moved in towards her, resting his cheek against the top of her head. They laced fingers.

Astrid watched with amusement as Ruffnut attempted to impersonate her and laughed when Snotlout was forced to jump from a high pile of boxes resembling the red death dragon and, instead of being caught by Ruffnut, fell flat on his face. Her laughter was infectious and Hiccup found himself joining in. He had always found the plays irritating before, believing them to be a means of ridicule, but watching them now with Astrid, he found himself beginning to enjoy it.

As the play came to a close, Heather and Fishlegs came running up. Heather looked rather flustered.

"I'm sorry guys but I'm really glad I've caught you all. I've just received a t-mail from my brother. Berserker Island is under attack by a large group of wild monstrous nightmares and they're destroying the village. Dagur is struggling to fend them off. He really needs Berk's help but, as you know, Valka has already taken the A-team to resolve the whispering death crisis in the east and won't be back for a while."

"I'll come with you, Heather," said Astrid snapping into her battle mode. "I'm sorry, Hiccup: it looks like our day together will have to wait."

"There will always be another time. Berk must always meet the needs of its allies in times of crisis. Besides, why don't we all go? It sounds like your brother could do with as much help as he can get."

"Thank you, guys," said Heather touched.

"Heather, send word to Dagur and tell him all the dragon riders will be there," continued Hiccup. "Astrid, you could get the B-team in place to defend Berk while we're gone. We can then go as soon as we're ready."

Heather and Astrid exchanged looks. They'd both noticed a subtle yet certain change in Hiccup. Keeping quiet, they went to follow their orders.

Moments later, as the group approached Berserker Island, they marvelled at the level of devastation. Streams of thick, sticky fire ran down the steep, jagged hills of the island like flaming rivers. Dozens of dragons swooped the skies above setting fires everywhere. As the riders drew closer, they could see many huts had already burned down while others were still ablaze. Villagers ran around with buckets trying to put out the flames but it was obvious they were struggling to keep up with the speed of destruction. As fires were put out the monstrous nightmares set themselves ablaze, crawled over the huts and reset them on fire. Some of the braver villagers, wanting to defend their homes, made for the dragons but this only resulted in their being hurtled across the air by the power of a wing or being swallowed whole then chucked aside like a discarded toy.

"Oh no!" gasped Heather.

"Don't worry, Heather," reassured Astrid. "We'll find Dagur and get this messy business dealt with."

They swooped down and soon found him busy helping to put out the flames of one of the huts. Catching sight of them, he turned to welcome the riders.

"Heather! Sister!" he said as he embraced her. "Everyone. Thank you so much for coming so quickly."

"Not at all, Dagur," replied Astrid. "Tell us anything we need to know."

"The monstrous nightmares arrived here yesterday and have been making a right nuisance of themselves. They've been eating all our new crops we've been trying to grow and there's now little of it left. I thought they only ate fish. When we tried to get them to leave they began to attack. You know I won't allow my people to harm any dragon but the more we tried to get them to leave, the more aggressive they became and as you can see half our whole village is now burning to the ground."

"What you need, Dagur, is an expert in the field, i.e. me," said Snotlout making his presence known. "I know this breed like the back of my own hand. I will have your little nightmare problem cleared up before you can say fish guts." He made his way over to the nearest monstrous nightmare who was busy crawling across a wall of a hut. "What they need, you see, is to know who is boss. Watch and learn."

He turned to the dragon.

"Oi! You! Yes, you! Get over here and show the Snot-man some respect!" The creature looked at him bored, then continued to stoke the hut. "Right! You asked for this!" Snotlout jumped onto the dragon's head and began to wrestle the jaws of the beast shut.

The dragon, however, wasn't very amused. It jumped off the hut, swung its head and began ramming Snotlout against the ground repeatedly before throwing him aside.

"See…" Snotlout forced himself up trying to regain some dignity. "He knows the Snot-boss now." Too dizzy, he fell back down, unconscious.

"Dagur. Did you happen to notice in which direction the monstrous nightmares flew from?" asked Hiccup.

"From over there." He pointed east.

"That's where mum and the A-team went to sort out the whispering death crisis." He said to himself.

"Hiccup, what is it?" asked Astrid. Ignoring her, Hiccup asked Dagur another question.

"You said when they arrived they were eating your crops. What were you trying to grow?"

"Corn. Why?"

"Were they at all aggressive before you approached them?"

"No, only when we tried to protect our crops."

Hiccup put the pieces together and faced the whole group.

"I believe these dragons have been forced off their own island by the whispering deaths and they're now in search of a new home. They found Berserker Island and saw the corn. Though their main food source is fish, corn is a delicacy of theirs. They want to make this island their new home.

"But they can't stay," exclaimed Dagur. "We have no room for them."

"Gang," continued Hiccup, "we need to get these dragons off this island and help them find somewhere else. Dragon Island isn't far and it has plenty of room for them all. Fishlegs, is there anything else we know about monstrous nightmares that might help us?"

Fishlegs pulled out his set of cards and began scanning through them.

"They're the largest breed of the stoker class: very aggressive, powerful and stubborn. They never run from a fight unless it's one they know they can't win. They're very intelligent and proud creatures and have a strong desire to be respected."

"Right," continued Hiccup. "Twins, could you and Snotlout help the villagers put out as many fires as you can? Dagur, Astrid, Fishlegs, Heather, find yourselves a dragon. We need to let them know we're not a threat and that they have our respect. Once we've earned their trust, we'll be able to encourage them away from the crops and transfer them onto Dragon Island."

Everyone, including Dagur, was stunned by Hiccup's speech. He sounded very much like the old Hiccup they knew and admired.

"Looks like Sir Talks-a-lot is finally back," grumbled Tuffnut to his sister.

Oblivious to them all, Hiccup made his way over to the monstrous Nightmare Snotlout had approached moments before. The dragon noticed him coming and roared at him in warning. Keeping eye contact with the creature, Hiccup decanted all his weapons and dropped them to the ground as a signal to show he was no threat. He then bent down on one knee and bowed his head low. Becoming interested in him, the dragon crawled down off the hut and went to stand next to Hiccup.

With his head still lowered, Hiccup raised a hand and waited patiently. The dragon cautiously gave him a sniff, then, deciding this man could be trusted, he placed his snout inside Hiccup's palm. After a moment, Hiccup carefully stood back up, moved to the side of the beast and began gently caressing its right horn. The dragon seemed to enjoy this and rubbed its head against him. Finally, slowly and carefully, Hiccup began to apply pressure to the horn and pushed it down to the ground. He held it firmly in place with one hand and continued to stroke the animal with the other. The monstrous nightmare was relaxed and had completely submitted to him.

Nearby nightmares, who could see this amazing sight, became curious and stopped in their tracks. The riders watched in awe as they made their way over towards Hiccup.

Very soon, Hiccup was surrounded by half a dozen monstrous nightmares all waiting to have their turn of affection and their own horns pinned to the ground.

Astrid beamed with pride. This was why people called him the Great Dragon Master.

It was now early evening and already dark. The moon glowed like a large diamond over the archipelago sea. The riders had managed to relocate all the dragons and Dagur had invited them back to Berserker Island for a celebratory meal as a means of thanks. They sat round a campfire, stoking yak chops. Heather was snuggled up to Fishlegs, resting her head on his shoulder while Snotlout massaged Ruff's feet.

"This is great, you all being here," said Dagur. "It seems just like old times. You know, us hanging out while you lot were at The Edge? Hey! Do you remember the time when I had Gustav as my apprentice? What a laugh that was!"

"Not the best idea you ever had," chuckled Snotlout.

"I admit he wasn't great, Snotfeatures, but we had a laugh didn't we?"

"You nearly lost your whole island to Savage!" sniped Snotlout, not very pleased with the nickname.

"And I have you to thank in helping me reclaim it, Snotbucket."

"Humph…"

"Talking about thanks, I cannot thank you guys enough for all you've done today. If it wasn't for you, Hiccup, I would have lost the entire village for sure."

"Err… it wasn't just me. We all worked hard."

"Don't be so modest, brother! If it wasn't for your quick-witted solution…"

"Brother…?"

"It's an affectionate name he has for you," explained Astrid, sitting beside him.

Hiccup gritted his teeth together and continued stoking his chop. It was still very common for the others to mention things he didn't know and it hurt being constantly reminded of the fact that he'd lost his memory. He hated feeling detached from all these people who were supposed to be his friends and he was finding it harder and harder to deal with. Rage boiled inside him but, determined not to ruin the evening, he fought to control it.

Noticing him sitting there all tense and disgruntled, Heather made an effort to change the subject.

"It's going to take some time rebuilding this place, Dagur. Some of our people are without a home tonight and out in the cold. I can stay here with you for a while and help."

"No need, sister, though I do appreciate the thought. Thanks to you, we still have a healthy forest nearby in which we can make use of. We will commence work first thing tomorrow."

"But…"

"Heather, it's fine. But if you must do something for me, then why not give me something to look forward to and get your knot-tying booked up? I've been waiting and waiting for my invitation and it would be nice to become an uncle before too long. Am I right, Fishlegs?" and he gave him a wink.

"We will, Dagur. We just decided to hold off for a while, that's all."

"Whatever for? Is there a problem? Is Fishlegs not able to satisfy you?" he said with a smirk.

"Dagur!" she snapped back. Then she leant into him and whispered, "We were hoping that Hiccup might be able to perform the ceremony. We did ask him before, but… you know."

Despite her efforts to be discreet, Hiccup overheard every word. They were all holding back because of him. He knew he should be grateful for their patience but all he felt was pressure. They all wanted him to recover but he could do nothing about it. Six long months he'd been like this and there was absolutely no improvement. Not a single memory had he had. Not one.

"Yeah, Hiccup," piped up Tuff. "When are you going to get your act together and take back the role of the Chief of Berk? This whole business is dragging on a bit, don't you think?"

"Tuffnut!" snapped Astrid.

"I'm just saying. And, besides, I thought you both were getting knot-tied soon too. Talk about dragging your feet. Geez!"

"Say something else, Tuffnut, I dare you!" and Astrid prepared herself ready for a fight.

It was more than Hiccup could bear.

"Thank you, Dagur, for the food, but if you'll excuse me I need to go," he placed down his uneaten chop and began walking away.

"Hiccup! Wait!"

"Don't follow me, Astrid. I need to be on my own right now," and he went to find Toothless leaving the rest of the group in stunned silence.

The next morning Astrid decided she'd go check on Hiccup. She had been worried about him walking off like that and wanted to know that he was okay. Hopefully he would have calmed down by now and be willing to talk things over a bit.

She went to his hut and rapped on the door. There was no answer. She knocked again a little harder. When there was no reply she let herself in.

"Hiccup? Are you here?" There was still no answer. It was a bit early; maybe he was sleeping in. She crept upstairs but, no, he wasn't there. However, something else grabbed her attention. She went over to the bed and picked up the book Hiccup had left there the previous morning.

"'Boulard the Brave and other terrific tales'…" she read aloud. He'd kept it. She had had no idea.

Blushing, she accepted he obviously wasn't home. Maybe he was out flying Toothless already. She put the book back where she'd found it, she decided she'd take Stormfly out for flight before catching him at Berk Training Academy.

"No, he's not here, Astrid. He didn't turn up today," replied Fishlegs. "Is everything okay?"

"You know how upset he was last night. I just want to make sure he's alright. Thor! I could throttle Tuffnut sometimes!"

"It was a lot for him yesterday, but I'm sure he's fine. Shall I let you know if I see him?"

"That would be good. Thanks, Fishlegs."

Astrid had to get to work. She'd check on him later at the dragon centre before lunch. He was bound to be there at least.

"Sorry, lass. I've not seen him all morning. Hasn't shown up to work. If ya see him tell him I could really do with a hand. We're quite over-run today."

"Will do, Gobber," she trilled. She was starting to become anxious. She went round the whole of the village asking everyone whether they'd seen him. No one had. Where was he?

Giving up, she jumped into Stormfly's saddle, deciding to fly round the island, visiting all the places he might be. He was nowhere to be found.

Starting to panic now, she began searching all nearby rock formations.

Finally, there he was. He was sitting on top of what happened to be his favourite thinking spot. Oh, the relief!

Coming into land, Toothless came bounding gaily up towards Stormfly, happy to see his friend.

"I guess I shouldn't be too surprised to find you here," she said sitting herself down next to him. "You always did like your 'Hiccup-Thinking-Sea-Stacks'."

"You know me that well, huh?"

"Yes, I do."

"Well, that makes one of us."

His face was drawn and he was ice-cold.

"Hiccup, you look exhausted. Don't tell me you've been out here all night." He didn't answer. "Oh, Hiccup."

They sat there in silence for a while.

"You know, I did come out here to be alone."

"I came here because I was worried about you. No one knew where you were. Fishlegs hadn't seen you and you hadn't turned up to work. You just disappeared."

Once again Hiccup didn't reply.

"Hiccup, what's the matter? You've been such a grump lately. You really upset everyone last night by leaving like that. What's happened to you?"

"What's happened to me? What's happened to me? Really? You don't know?" Flabbergasted, he stood up and began to pace. "Well, I'll tell you. I wake up one morning with strangers all around me, not having a clue who they are. I don't even know who I am. Do you have any idea what that's like? Do you? Then you bring me to Berk which is supposed to be my home and still there's nothing I know. Nothing!"

He'd snapped. It was as if he'd been holding onto these thoughts all night and now they came gushing out.

Shocked, Astrid, too, stood up.

"It's not been easy for me either, Hiccup," she retorted. "I lost my betrothed that day. I was terrified. I thought you were going to die! Do you realise how scary that was for me? I thought I lost you… In a way I had…"

"But you still had everyone else. I have no one. I remember no one! You don't know what that's like. None of you do! Being disconnected from everyone you're supposed to know and care about. Don't you get it? I – don't – know – anyone! I don't know you. I don't know my own mother, my own father. I don't even know who I am! You talk about being scared. Do you realise how scared that makes me?"

"Well, why don't you stop pushing me away and help me to understand? I want to help you!"

"Why? So I can make you feel better about yourself? So I can make pretend that everything's okay for everyone else? Pretend to be the Hiccup you all want me to be? Make everyone happy? Be the chief again? Perform Heather and Fishlegs' ceremony? Yes, I heard them last night. Be your betrothed again? I'm not that guy anymore!"

Toothless had been playing with Stormfly. Upon noticing the commotion he wandered over to Hiccup to see what was going on. He gave Hiccup a gentle nudge attempting to console him.

"Get away, dragon! Go on! Get out of here!" barked Hiccup, pushing him away. Toothless, hurt by his rider's abruptness, whined and skulked away.

"What did you do that for?" Astrid was stunned. She couldn't believe what had just happened.

Hiccup gritted his teeth and turned his back on them both, seething.

"Hiccup, what's really going on? You're being such a jerk!"

Hiccup said nothing. He just stood there rigid with his fists clenched tight, chest heaving. In truth he didn't know himself. Maybe it was the lack of sleep though he doubted this somehow. Whatever it was he knew he wasn't right: he felt overwhelmed, like he was at the foot of the cliff about to slip off, or trapped in a confined space which was getting smaller and smaller by the minute. The pressure inside him was becoming too great, he wanted to scream!

"We're all here for you and just want you to get better. There's no rush. Ignore Tuffnut, he can be a royal yak's ass at times, but no one else is rushing you. We all just want to help you and be there for you."

"See?" he turned back to face her, eyes blazing. "You admit that everyone wants something from me. You say 'no rush' but that just means you still want me to recover. It's been six months! Six months and nothing's changed. What if I can't? What if I don't? What if I never regain my memory? What then?"

Astrid was worried for him. What should she do? She watched as his eyes glazed over.

"You'll have me!"

"Yeah, great. Just what I need. A pity party."

SLAP!

"Fine! Have it your way! Be alone!" and Astrid turned and made her way over to Stormfly.

"No…" she heard Hiccup call out behind her.

"No, Hiccup. Too late. You got what you wanted. You hurt me…"

"No…"

He didn't sound right. She stood still and listened.

"Toothless! Come on. What's the matter with you?"

"Hiccup?" and she glanced back at him. He wore a dazed expression. Was he talking to himself?

"No, no, no, no…" he went on. "Come on. What are you doing?" Panic etched his voice.

"Hiccup!" she ran up to him.

"Knock it off! Stop! Snap out of it!"

"Hiccup! Look at me!"

"Toothless, no! Toothless! NO! STOP! DAD! NOOO!"

With an arm outstretched, attempting to block something only he could see, Hiccup went quiet. His chest heaved and his eyes were wide. He was in a panic!

"Hiccup! Please! I'm here. It's Astrid. Wake up!" but it was futile. He had gone somewhere where he couldn't hear her.

"Dad!" he finally said.

"Hiccup?"

"Dad… no… no! No, no, no, no…" Seeing his face screw up like he was about to cry Astrid leaned into him to provide comfort. She didn't know what else to do.

Then suddenly he thrust her away, causing her to stagger.

"No! Get away from him! Go on! Get out of here! Get away!" and he tripped himself up and fell forwards onto his hands and knees.

Astrid stood back watching in horror. What was happening to him? She watched as his chest heaved in and out. Then, he began to make odd noises, almost like he was choking. Gingerly, she approached him, bent down in front of him and placed her hands on his shoulders.

This time he looked up at her. His face was wild. Recognising her, he sprung himself on her and clung to her in quiet desperation.

"It's okay," she soothed him. "It's okay.

"Dad…" he choked out. "Dad, I'm so… I'm so… sorry!" and he broke down in her arms, tears flowing down his cheeks. "It my fault," he wailed between his sobs. "It's all my fault!"

Astrid held him as he began to howl.

He cried and he cried. It felt like an eternity.

Sometimes his cries would subside only for him to blame himself again for the death of his father and a whole new flood of tears would start. It was like that for a long time.

At some point Hiccup wore himself out and fell asleep resting on Astrid. However, after only a short while, Hiccup stirred again shouting out "No… no...! No!" waking himself up and he broke down once more.

Eventually, he fell silent and lay with his head on Astrid's lap as she threaded her fingers through his hair. Toothless cautiously approached the couple and Hiccup reached out to pet him. He felt bad for his previous gruffness with him.

"I'm sorry, bud," he rasped. Toothless nuzzled him accepting his apology. "And I'm sorry I said those things to you, Astrid. I was a jerk."

"Yes. You were."

"You've been there for me all the way. I've put you through so much."

"You've been through a lot too, Hiccup. Your dad died a year ago… A year today, actually…" Now there was a thought. "You haven't been yourself in ages. You've had to take on the role of chief while still grieving. You have a near-fatal accident resulting in a serious head injury. Of course you're going to struggle a bit."

"It's really been a year since he died?"

"Yep."

Hiccup contemplated this.

"I wonder whether he'd be disappointed in me if he saw me now."

"Is that what's been bothering you?"

"I guess. I've… I've always felt like I wasn't good enough for him, not being the son he wanted. Then… because of me… he's dead…"

"What do you mean 'always'…? Hiccup. Are you saying you remember that?"

Hiccup paused. Stunned. Slowly he sat up.

"Do you remember anything else?" Astrid dared to ask.

Hiccup thought. Then, realising just how much he did, he looked into her eyes and placed a hand gently on her cheek.

"I remember," he said. "And I remember us. I love you, Astrid," and he moved in towards her and kissed her softly on the lips.

It was all too much for Astrid. She gasped, pulled away, then shuddered. However, just as Hiccup grew concerned, she flung herself back on him, and together they shared a passionate embrace.


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Dad,

It has been nearly fifteen months since you died and I still think about you every day.

I'm writing to let you know that everything here is fine.

You'll be pleased to hear Astrid and I were knot-tied two months ago. Having had so many delays, we decided we didn't want to wait any longer. It goes without saying that she looked stunning and it surprises me to this day that she's now my wife. I am a very lucky man.

Everyone we know from Caldera Cay, Berserker Island and Outcast Island came to the ceremony. It was a very emotional day and I found it very hard you not being there. I could tell mum missed you too though she tried not to show it. I suppose she didn't want to spoil our big day.

I have some other exciting news: Astrid and I are trying for a baby. We haven't told anyone yet, not even mum. We want to wait until we know everything is fine but hopefully, with any luck, I'll be a father before the year is out and you'll be a grandpa.

Mum has also moved out. She seems to have settled in her new place we had built for her. She assures me she's doing fine, though I do like to check on her regularly to make sure. Astrid says I worry too much. Maybe she's right, but she's my mother so I like to all the same.

I'm sorry, Dad, but I do have one confession to make. A few months ago I had an accident. I'm okay now, but at the time it meant I temporarily lost my memory. I didn't know who I was for a while and I was unable to run Berk. Mum had to take on the role of chief in my stead with Gobber assisting her. I still feel awful for how all the repercussions of my actions affected everyone else. Though, with Astrid's undying love and support, I was able to recover eventually. She is amazing. I don't know what I'd do without her.

Though most of my memory is back now, I still cannot recall the period I was chief, running the village. Those six months remain a blank. The last memory I have, before waking in the healing centre at Caldera Cay, was being blessed as Chief of Berk by Gothi just after you died. Anything in-between seems to have been wiped out completely and I don't think I'll ever recover that.

You'll be pleased to know I am now Chief of Berk again. That's what you wanted for me. I took back the role a week after the wedding. I have assured Astrid I am not going to push myself as hard as before and I intend to keep that promise. I don't want to worry her, not if she's going to be the mother of my child one day.

According to her, I wasn't looking after myself very well and was making myself ill. She had been really worried for me and because I don't want to do that to her again I'm going to do my best not to repeat the same mistakes. I've promised to finish work at a sensible time every day and make sure we share a meal together. I'm also taking one day off a week to spend with her. Mum fills in for me then so we don't get disturbed.

I'm sorry, Dad but despite all the support around me it still hasn't been easy. I'm still struggling to deal with being chief. I'm always apprehensive, wondering whether you would approve of my actions and decisions. Astrid says I'm doing fine but I wish you were here to give me your guidance.

I think about you every day, Dad. I miss you terribly. I still have nightmares about your death. I used to have them every night but slowly they're becoming less frequent. I think I only had two last week. When I have one, I call out in my sleep and wake Astrid up. I wish they would stop. Hopefully they will one day.

When things get too much I still struggle to open up, even to Astrid. Sometimes I just cannot get my words out even if I want to and I can feel completely confined by my anguish, not being able to find a way out. But Astrid has been a great support. She is my rock. It was her that suggested I wrote everything down in a letter to you. She thought it would help me to write some of my emotions on paper, hence the letter.

Dad, I'm sorry. Trying to put into words how I feel cannot begin to explain the feelings I have inside me. I still feel tormented by my actions and the decisions I made for what happened to you. Astrid says it's not my fault but though I do my best to believe her, I'm still struggling to. I'm so sorry, Dad. If it wasn't for me chasing after Drago that day none of this would have ever happened and you'd still be with us. Because of me, I found one parent but lost another. We'll never be a family. I'm so, so sorry.

I think I hear Astrid calling me down for dinner now. I'd better go.

I love you, Dad. Words cannot begin to describe how much I miss you!

Until we meet again in Valhalla,

Your loving son. Always,

Hiccup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the story x
> 
> If you have any thoughts or comments about my writing please leave a comment.  
> I'm looking to improve my writing so that I can, one day, write my very own and publish!  
> Any concrit is very welcome xx


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